We Were Warned of These Times … The Tween Years

My daughter and I read a story out of our most current Chicken Soup for the Soul book each night and while we were reading Chicken Soup for the Soul The Magic of Mothers & Daughter we were forewarned of times to come with stories during this time of change with girls. I knew the time would come, whether or not it would be as extreme as the stories within this book were or not, that was the only question. My daughter honestly said that would not happen because of our bond and how close we are, but hormones have a mind of their own and that my friends is the times I am currently going through. Living with the changes of hormones in my daughter that also messes with my hormones which in turn wrecks havoc upon the home at times.

IMG_20130406_134648My family is very close knit, we are a positive happy go lucky bunch of people but when you put those hormone changes into effect, things don’t run as smoothly as they normally would. Mother Nature is cruel in that she thought it would be great to allow females who are close or reside together to sync up with hormone changes which only makes the mother/daughter bond harder to keep strong. While my daughter and I are still super close and she can speak out as she deems fit with her opinions or stuff going on, with the hormones at place her attitude or the way she goes about expressing said feelings, opinions or what not is not always the most appropriate, friendly way. Think about when you have that time of the month, while my daughter isn’t “there” yet, her hormones are changing and she has all of the symptoms us females get with that time of the month. Are you less susceptible to reasonable demands? Are you capable of flying off the handle more often than not? Do you seem like no one gets you or that nothing gets done the way you want? Consider all of those feelings you have when you are hormonal and place those within a young child, age 10. Can you imagine what this child is going through?

I cannot imagine being so young and dealing with the changes your mind, body and soul take on at this age. It’s insane. I have issues handling it and I am 31 years old. It’s no fun and it means, as a parent, you must step up that compassionate side more often than not. I have a lot of patience with children, especially my own. I am loving, nurturing and a total MOMMY type personality but when I have my “nonfriend of the month” heading this way, I tend to be less reasonable and can be more agitated quickly. This isn’t a good mix when your child is also having those same changes during the same time frame you are. It is only a recipe for disaster. This is a situation everyone can survive from but it’s taking a lot of hard work, focus and determination to make it through in a positive way on my end.

Mother Daughter TimeIt seems that when a female, no matter her age, is having hormone changes that the most normal of replies to their requests or issues no longer make sense. All of a sudden you are the bad guy, you do not “get” them and never would you understand. You are mean. You are rotten. And clearly you are out to get this child. I understand it. I get it. I feel the same way each month, again at age 31 years, so I do get where my child is coming from, but at the same time I am learning how to deal with this part of her life. It’s all new. This is truly a sample of why I always say, “parenting is something you learn to do each day of your life”. Parenting a child is never the same day to day, there will always be a situation or life change that happens making it a whole new learning experience on how to move forward in a positive direction while hanging onto your bond and family unit.

While I expected this time to come, I wasn’t nearly as prepared as I had thought. It breaks my heart some days when I have to take away my daughter’s laptop time because of her tone and usage of attitude behind how she says things or handles things. It breaks my heart to have to send her to room for chill out time in order to keep the chaos of hormones raging at bay. It breaks my heart to have to now enforce such consequences that were always there but very rarely had to been utilized. Once I get past the heart break and come back down to the real world, I realize that I am still teaching my daughter what is expected from her as an individual person and that even society or a work place will not put up with such attitude no matter what. I would rather her learn under my roof with a mom who loves her no matter what than to have everything catered to her current mood and have to learn once she is an adult in the real world with people who do not love her unconditionally.

It’s a new chapter in many ways here at my household, but I am confident they will lead to a positive place … eventually!

Odd Pregnancy Cravings

It’s suppose to be a joyous time, you are expecting baby and this little bundle of joy is growing inside of you. At your ultra sound appointments you have to wonder, is this an alien child, for it truly is nothing but a skull shape peeking at you through this computer like screen. You watch as your belly expands, your breasts grown and you are filled with love, worry, fear and the thoughts of what if you are not ready, all at once. For me, pregnancy was not bliss, but I am having fun watching my sister grow from a woman to a mother.

In just a few short weeks I will become an auntie to one little baby girl named Olivia and I can not wait to meet this little bundle of joy. I enjoy talking to my sister, helping the best I can to alleviate some fears, worries and concerns she has over her pregnancy and new “job” of being a Mom. I think she will do just fine. I am so proud of who she has become after where she has been.  I can not think of any odd pregnancy cravings that she has shared with me, but I do recall having some of my own with my first born child.

During the pregnancy of my daughter I would often crave a toasted english muffin with scrambled eggs and peanut butter as well as American cheese on top. A PB, egg and cheese mcmuffin if you will. It was the most delicious thing to me during those pregnancy months, but makes me wanna throw up a bit in my mouth at the thought of it now.

I didn’t really crave pickles with any of the pregnancies as some do. I didn’t have any of the normal cravings, so to speak. I also started to grow a love of spicy foods while pregnant with my first born. I recall going to Chili’s Restaurant and enjoying their buffalo wings so much. It was a messy treat, but wow I could not get enough of them. I also started to use crushed red pepper on mashed potatoes, pasta and anything that made sense to me, a habit that stayed with me long after that pregnancy.

With my sons, I have a hard time remember which was what, but I do recall craving deli meat ham with one of the boys. I would purchase the deli ham shredded and eat a whole pound in one seating. It was crazy. All of that sodium and fattening ham, but it was oh so delicious. I couldn’t eat enough of it.

The cravings of a pregnant woman must always be met, for we are not the friendliest of creatures if our man is not meeting our craving needs. Yes men, that means if you have a pregnant wife or girlfriend and she is craving ice cream with pickles? You get it for her. Don’t have it in the fridge and freezer? You best be packing up and grabbing those keys to run to the store for you are about to see sweet woman turned monster in 2.0.

I ask you all, what did you crave when you were pregnant? Or what did your significant other crave while she was pregnant?

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Moody Changes During One Week a Month

I swear there is something wrong with me, each month, make that every three weeks; I get moody. I do not like anyone, I am short fused and more apt to tell someone off or speak without thinking let’s just say. I am not that person. I am usually pretty good at minding my own business, being nice to others and being happy, but when you get that once a month visitor on it’s way, I turn into the person I was while pregnant.

There is a reason I hated being pregnant, I was extremely hormonal. Hormones were so rageful that I didn’t know up nor down and hated everyone. I am not the “hating” type of person, I rarely use that word, well I use it more now because my four year old says it way too much and has me saying it. In all honesty, I feel hate is too strong of a word to just toss around, but when you take that time of the month, rather the week before it arrives; I can honestly say I HATE it.

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I turn into my evil opposite. I worry about things that need not be worried about. I yell more, rather raise my voice. I don’t have the patience for anything. Doing dishes upsets me. Doing laundry puts me into tears and I usually have no problem sleeping because I want to sleep as often as a depressed person would. It’s so hard to remain positive during that week before my period and I just do not understand hormones.

I really do wish that I didn’t have my nonfriend {that’s what I call this time of the month} because I don’t want anymore kids, three is quite honestly enough and I do not want to have to keep putting everyone around me through the mood swings I encounter every three weeks. Midol does help, but I ran out and well keep forgetting to buy it, but Midol can not keep me tamed the whole week, it just makes the symptoms slightly tolerable for myself and others around me.

The Many Moods, Hormonal?

So my daughter is eight years old, she will be nine in October and I find myself wondering if she is hormonal. This girl is totally happy one moment and totally upset and emotional the next. My daughter has always been a bit of a Drama Queen but this is getting way worse.

She was hiding, because someone was picking on her, so she says. Although the story was everyone was playing like they always play and she just took it personal, which seems to be the deal lately with her. Poor girl is so hormonal is all I can think.

I tried so hard to get a smile, I climbed the tower she was in and poked a picture shot from above, she refused to look, she refused to grin.

I think that is a half eye roll and maybe getting ready to yell at her brothers? I am not sure but no matter how many times I snapped the camera on my Droid I was unable to get this girl to smile in this moment, like at all. Seriously.

I think that is her yelling, what do you think? Well … I am lost as to what to do with this girl. Is it too early for hormone changes? She is 8 almost 9 but I swear her body is looking like the whole puberty change is coming on and wow, I am nervous because we are already starting to butt heads which is not common for us.

When did your daughter start “the change”?

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