Such Wonderful Progress and Gold Star Person

I am a human that thrives on seeing results from any of my actions. Meaning I am that “gold star” type personality more often than not. I don’t need praise, but I do like to see that anything I am doing is helping someone, somewhere, somehow. I feel blessed to know that in the parenting world of my life, I am constantly rewarded for my decisions and parenting style. My kids are such amazing children, they make it easy to love and adore them, while they make mistakes, they are always somewhat ready to accept that mistake as a learning experience and move forward. With each step in parenting I get to see a positive result.

Case in Point … my middle child, Aj.

Positive Parenting Rewards

I have shared a lot about my son Aj and well he has come so far in such little time. I recall sitting in his counselors office and being led to feel that the counselor wasn’t really thinking that Aj is high functioning autistic {even though I have a paper that cites he was diagnosed this by someone who does have qualifications to be a valid person to dx people}. I feel this was a misunderstanding based loosely on the fact that few seem to realize the bond my three kids and I have. Few seem to really validate the real connection I have and power I have as an influence in their lives. With Aj, specifically, I have been able to work hard to teach him to understand some jokes, some social ques and have a level of tolerance for sharing {thinking of his siblings first} and being less agitated with sarcasm. For all of Aj’s life, the world was about him. Only him. This is totally natural for most high functioning spectrum children, from what I have heard and read. The fact that Aj can step back and take a moment to be more tolerable of scenarios he doesn’t care for and work harder to know how he works, doesn’t mean that he isn’t on the spectrum. This simply means, I have worked hard and continue to work hard as a parent.

And it’s paying off!

Working with Autism

Without medications to blur Aj’s mind and me helping to show him better ways to accept his world around him, by working with how he thinks and how his brain works, has shown to be a true blessing for Aj, his siblings and anyone a part of his world. Aj is now better able to handle sharing, taking turns, accepting my snide/sarcastic responses from time to time. Aj has come a long way but I have to be conscious of how his brain works every single day. This isn’t something that Aj does on his own completely yet, he is only 7 after all. It will take time, many years probably, for him to nail a method that works best for him as an individual. For now, I am working hard as  parent, so hard that by the end of the day I can barely speak, never-mind walk. It’s exhausting but to see my children, all 3 of them, benefit from my hard work in parenting makes the long days and tired brain worth every single moment.

So that is how I explain my “gold star” definition, I don’t need praise from the children, but when I see results … that makes me feel warm, happy and confident in the future days as a parent!

 

How Much I Love My Children

I Love my Children so Much That .. A Poem of a Mothers Love

I love my children so much that;

I allow them the distance to make mistakes.

I love my children so much that;

I teach them to accept not everyone will like them.

I love my children so much that;

I allow them an open forum to speak their opinions freely & openly.

I love my children so much that;

I grew to be the example I want them to live by.

I love my children so much that;

I encourage them to try  new things by overcoming any anxious feelings.

I love my children so much that;

I allow them to be who they are without judgement or attempting to mold them into who I am.

I love my children so much that;

I show appreciation for their good grades and other accomplishments with a big smile, happy dance and a hug.

I love my children so much that;

I’ve taught them to enjoy the simple things in life, rather than be needy of materialistic items.

I love my children so much that;

I give tough love when needed, even if it kills me to do so.

I love my children so much that;

I teach them we are a family unit and each will have their own responsibilities to ensure the household runs smoothly.

I love my children so much that;

I raise them in an old school mentality that doesn’t easily come as accepted in society as we know it today.

I love my children so much that;

I allow their thoughts, feelings and opinions to matter, all the while letting them know I am the adult who makes the final decisions.

I love my children so much that;

I show them that their Mama loves them no matter what, forever and always unconditionally.

My Children love me so much that;

They shower me in hugs, kisses and include me in their pretend play time because they  know I love them so much.

 

My Daughter Being Silly Singing her Made up Song

This past weekend we had a blast with family time, more posts about our trip on Saturday to Chuck E. Cheese’s coming soon but for today I share with you the video of my daughter singing a song that she just started singing aloud. You see, we were all seated around the dining room table playing with pretend clay when my daughter started making fruits, then a taco and a plate of spaghetti out of her modeling clay.

Apparently that was enough inspiration for her to start singing this little tune …

Can you tell that she is my daughter? The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree with this girl. I love her.

Will we Be Back to School Soon? #schoolvacation #happilyblended

My children had 12 days, that includes weekends scheduled off for school vacation. My fiance also had the same 12 days off from his work place, it was great – the idea of having a second adult around during school vacation. I was looking forward to school vacation regardless of my fiance being off from work or not because I enjoy extra time to hang with my children. It amazes me just how fast they grow up … no matter how much they grow up, they still enjoy doing a variety of activities with their siblings and this Mama …

Bead Crafts Happily Blended

Our first idea of something to do, during this school vacation, was to get our bead collection out. My fiance’s aunt sent over some beads, something that everyone enjoys doing something with. My five year old son went to work making a necklace for me and a necklace for himself. It was a fun time with us all around the table putting together jewelry from the beads and strings.

Happily Blended Reading Books and Paper Crowns

We are avid book readers in this house so it was certainly true that we got some reading in as well, one of our Christmas time favorites is Suzy Goose and the Christmas Star. The boys also had an idea that they wanted to be kings of various countries so I went to work helping them make crowns out of paper. They loved saying they were the King of Greece and King of Egypt like King Tut, etc etc. Such a fun time!

Popiscle Crafts Board Games Happily Blended

We spent so much time together between playing an occasional MineCraft via the demo on the PS3 or the full creative version on my laptop to Popsicle stick crafts like God’s Eyes shown in the far right in above picture to the jewelry box made out of Popsicle sticks and board games like our favorite, Monopoly Empire.

While the 12 days of school vacation were fun and we enjoyed being together as a family, when January 2nd came, it was surely a time for the kids to be back to school as they were scheduled to be so that the regular school year routine could resume. Then it happened, ,we got hit with a bad snow storm January 2nd into January 3rd leaving the kids with no school both Thursday and Friday. So we spent time hanging out and staying warm in below zero temperatures. Now, as Monday approaches, I look forward to having routine back so I can work and the kids can attend their regularly scheduled school sessions.

What did you all do during school vacation?

How Long Before You Should Marry, or Know you Should Marry?

Most of my life I was set on the two year mark being that when you can decide if you really, truly should marry someone. Based on all of my readings on relationships and various documentaries, it clearly states that you have the first year to get to know each other and the next year to see if the two “real” versions of yourself work together. So one day, having found out that my best friend was engaged on her one year anniversary, I asked her “how long should someone wait before they get married?”, her reply resonated with me and made perfect sense. That got me thinking and so that is where this post came from inside of my writers brain.

love

For starters, you cannot place a time frame on true love. Next, we are no longer teenagers, love is real to us, unless we are super messed up emotionally and looking for the wrong type of love or love in the wrong ways. Reference my post from yesterday, looking for love through physical contact is not going to allow you to find ever lasting love. Not one bit.

As my best friend stated, but not in these exact words, there comes a time in your life where you have already been through so much. We both already have children, we both have struggled to be a single mom {her longer than I} and we have challenges with our children that keep us from really being able to find that perfect-for-us match. I agree with Dwan, that once you reach the age her and I are at that you just know. It’s this feeling, not through the ways of lust, that makes your brain and heart collide and realize THIS PERSON IS THE ONE.

One year ago on December 28th, I met a man for coffee. Seeing his profile on Match.com and having only paid for a month of membership, I knew that I wasn’t going to settle and waste the money spent for that membership but I also wasn’t going to rush into searching and searching for someone. This man’s profile kept coming up as a recommendation or what not. I ignored it, after all he lived in Claremont and one of my rules through out my whole life is that I will not date someone from Claremont, amongst a couple other NH towns too. I just couldn’t get over that image of him holding a guitar and smiling. It stuck with me and finally something gave in, I had to message him.

We met on December 28th for a cup of coffee, he likes it black by the way and I love it with Hazelnut Creamer and a couple sugars. From that day forward we didn’t spend one day apart unless we had to due to our children. On New Years Eve of last year, we had our children meet for the first time. It was a united family from that day on.  The kids meeting is what solidified mine and Lee’s love for each other. We knew from that first cup of coffee that we never wanted to part ways again. We knew from the day our children met and having them hit it off great, that we would never want to be apart again.

Now, here we are in a home we purchased this year. Dealing with a lot of drama from people who wish ill upon our happiness, you know those kind of people who are not happy with their own inner self so feel no one else can be happy?! And yet, we don’t falter. Our love is stronger than ever and each day it only grows stronger, I’ve never felt a love like this, neither has he. It’s so complete and so fulfilling. Our love is based on something real, within us, that we cannot seem to control. A real relationship, finally, we both deserve it so much. I have always been a train wreck when it comes to choosing my partner, while I can say my ex husband and I didn’t work out, I still love my ex husband as a co-parent and friend. Lee knows this and it honestly amazes him how well my ex husband and I get along, it doesn’t bother him one bit.

While I cannot tell you personally how long to wait for marriage, I can tell you this; knowing if you are ready has nothing to do with anyone else around you, if you have children sure they play a role in it because you don’t want to disrupt their lives too early with a new step parent, but at the same time; children do not control the outcome of their parent’s love for another human being. When choosing a date or time to marry that love of your life, just don’t rush, if you two feel that love 100% completely then it can wait if external situations call for it, but don’t wait just because so-and -o doesn’t want you happy. Those who don’t want you happy are broken within themselves and that’s nothing you can control.

Love with all of your mind, heart and soul. If you feel complete with another, latch on and never look back. Marriage? Well that depends on one thing; You and your Partner, only you two know when is right.

 

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