How To Avoid Sketchy Online Daters

The dating scene can be a pretty slippery slope, and most people with dating experience would gladly vouch for that. However, when you throw the Internet into the mix, the whole thing becomes even more sketchy. See, prior to the rise of online dating sites, the entire dating process took place in person with the exception of blind dates.

It usually happened in a public place like a coffee shop or a park. Someone would catch your eye and spark your attention, introduce themselves, start a conversation, and if you felt a connection with the person, you’d either ask them out on a date, or hope that they’d ask you. But meeting organically just doesn’t happen all that much anymore. Why? Well because people started turning to online dating sites in their search for love.

Don’t get us wrong, online dating sites are great, and they’ve helped millions of people find true love, but they also have their downfalls. For every good-hearted honest user, there is a also creepy sketchball whose intentions are far from good, which is why you have to be super careful on these sites.

You shouldn’t be too quick to trust anyone you meet on the Internet, let alone a person you could potentially get involved with romantically. When you get matched up with other users, or if someone strikes up a flirtatious conversation, you should always try to learn more about them before agreeing to meet in person.

Helpful Resources

There are different sites you can use to background check your potential dates, like InstantCheckmate.com, which was created to help online daters avoid the creeps and criminals that lurk on dating sites. All you have to do is type in the person’s name, hit search, and boom—you get a detailed report that could significantly influence your decision about the date.

You can find out tons of information, including the biggest deal breakers which, for online daters, are usually 1) If the person is actually married (what a scumbag!), and 2) If they have any prior arrests or criminal convictions on their record. Imagine going on several dates with someone only to find out that they’re an ex-con who did hard time for murder. Doesn’t sound like much fun, does it? Now, imagine if you did an online background check as soon as the person started chatting you up. You’d find out about their heinous criminal history, and then run in the other direction—we hope.

Better Safe Than Sorry

It may be an old cliche, but “Better safe than sorry,” has never been more fitting than in the world of online dating. It’s impossible to truly get to know (or trust) someone based solely on their profile or the sweet nothings they send you on chat. That hottie you’ve been messaging back and forth could actually be a 65-year-old pedophile whose photos came from Google images. Seriously, these kind of situations occur more frequently than anyone would like to admit, so you should do everything you can to avoid them!

Do YOU have any additional advice for online daters? Let us know in the comments!

Amber Hollingsworth is a blogger from Dallas, TX. She specializes in writing about safety tips for online daters. 

I Truly Love my Life

Sons are a blessingI truly do love my life, I feel blessed to have three AMAZING children. I have a roof over our heads. I have been self employed for four years. I have amazing friends and while on my dating ventures I am meeting some more amazing people. I am truly blessed.

Sometimes it’s so difficult to realize what it is you are thankful for when it’s staring you in the face every day. Hidden blessings seem to be passing by me every day and yet I fail, at times, to notice them as blessings. When my two older kids, who normally are butting heads, sit down to play something together or walk down the driveway hand in hand; those are true happy moments, small blessings.

IMG_20121211_190233When my youngest stops from doing whatever hyper activity he is doing just to say “I love you Mama” that is a true moment worth savoring since more often than not his favorite saying is “I hate you” even though he seems to say it in the most sweet way, it’s still sad to hear him say that.

When my daughter comes home from being gone for two days and just wants to feel my arms around her in a big hug. NO words. Just a hug. That is a blessing. When my daughter doesn’t call me mean once a day, that is a blessing.

IMG_20121211_164412Even when my kids do the most crazy off the wall things – that is a blessing- because I know they are comfortable enough with me and in my home to be who they want to be, to test limits, to figure out who they are as individuals in a zone where they know Mama will love them always.

I have shown my kids unconditional love and they have shown me blessings in disguises one after another, every day. I love my life and it’s always nice to remember that the little things really count the most.

An eHarmony Love Story

The series I Met My Love Online is coming along nicely, today I get to share my first story about a couple who met on eHarmony, the love story of Bill and Liz.

I was living in Nashville, TN and Liz was living in Connecticut.  We were both apprehensive at first to change our profile settings to open ourselves up for long distance matches, but our dates with local matches were not very productive or successful.   For each of us, it was our last attempt to meet someone before canceling our membership.  Once we were matched, together we went through 4 stages of protective communication before we began to email each other.  After that, we talked by telephone for several months.  Everything about Liz seemed perfect, so I knew that the next step was to take her out on a date in person.  Over the next several months, I traveled up to CT to spend time with her and I also flew her down to Nashville to spend time with me.

Tell me, what is the most romantic thing your true love did for you?

The most romantic thing that Liz did for me was that she sang “The Broken Road” at our wedding ceremony, complete with instrumental tracks and a backup singer.  The most romantic thing that Liz would tell you, that I did for her was to surprise her with a horse-drawn carriage ride through town on the night I asked her to marry me.  After dinner, I took her to an old historic New England hotel so we could walk the grounds.  While we were on the walk, I had arranged for the carriage to approach us at a certain location and surprise her.  While on the ride, I presented the ring and asked her to marry me.

Thoughts Regarding Online Dating with eHarmony

We believe that the personality surveys we filled out on the eHarmony site were very accurate.  We see similar behaviors in each other, resulting in us being more understanding of each other.  Together we have blended our spiritual beliefs for an awesome life together.  I always dreamed of starting a business that would help parents across the globe.  Thanks to the love and support that Liz gives to me, I’ve been able to make that dream come through by completing my degree in psychology, writing a series of parenting books, and launching the CREATING COOPERATIVE KIDS TV show.  You can see all of these accomplishments that could not have done without her help, at www.CooperativeKids.com.

Christine & Tony’s Story of Life and Love Part 2: Tony’s Story

I’m wondering if this is going to read like True Confessions; however, it is all true and it will show that bad boys can become good boys and men really only want the same things that women do.

I am 60-years-old and have been married for two years to Christine, my third wife.  She is precious to me and I have a very strong love for her.

I met and married my college sweetheart in 1969, had our son in 1971 and was ‘happily’ married for almost twenty years. My profession is in retail and I manage sales people for a living. Along the way, women impress and flirt–and if you are a people person like I am–you sometimes flirt back. One thing leads to another and I was having a torrid affair that lasted several years prior to my wife discovering all of this. My wife and I split up; I became a new father once again and got married for the second time. It was a tough marriage from the first day.  We stayed together for more than a dozen years, mostly for the sake of our daughter; however, about five years ago, it was over.

I found myself alone, and because of my wife’s behavior, I had custody of our daughter.

After a couple of years, my teenager and her brother said that I had to get a life, so I started looking.

My daughter has a horse, so I would end up meeting single gals at the stables. I dated on and off. Mostly off. I just could not find what I was looking for. I wanted to meet a ‘happy’ person. Someone who was attractive, sure, but my hot button was that she had to be happy to be herself. I have always thought of myself as a person who is happy and I am constantly trying to sell the ‘happy story’ to people, but I find that unless it is natural, it wears out.

I was determined to find a happy gal or I was prepared to go it alone. I became a member of Match.com and started dating. Most of the gals posted ‘glamour’ pictures. I hate those! Some lied about their age or where they lived. It was a nightmare.

Several were very nice and we had fun; however, no one was a match to what I was looking for.

Then, one evening, I was scanning the listings and Christine’s bio came up. She was attractive and talked about wanting to meet someone happy, etc. When I read it, it sounded like she was looking for me.

After several e-mails, we met for lunch and I was immediately impressed by her genuine smile and the positive things she talked about. Nothing negative came out of her mouth.

We started dating and I fell for her long before she fell for me. After a year, I asked her to marry me. I had told her all about my infidelity in the beginning and she did not let me off the hook. Lots of questions and soul searching on my part. I told her the truth and continue to work on our relationship. In the end, she said yes and I could not be happier.

I have found for myself that since I have failed at two marriages and have a desire to succeed at any cost, it has made me appreciate my wife all the more. She understands me and helps me through misunderstandings between us in a positive way, by explaining how she feels and why something is bothering her. I try to do the same, but I am not very good at it. I am, however, trying to understand how a woman’s mind works and will continue to keep an open mind on any relationship help I can get.

Thanks to Tony for sharing his part of the Christine & Tony love story! If you missed Christine’s Story please reference the post on site previous to this one.

I Met My Love Online: Staci & Alex Match.com Story & Some Advice

It’s amazing what technology has done to our world, we are now able to date from miles away or meet people just next door to us by utilizing the world wide web. Today I get to share a cute love story from a couple who met on Match.com while they both were living in LA.

We are Staci & Alex – a match.com success story!

My recently engaged fiance and I met online! We are very happy to say that
match worked for us :) We met over 2 years ago in LA via match; countless
dates & a big move across the country, we are happily in NYC and engaged to
be married June 2013!

I can’t not say enough about online dating and how great of an idea it is – 3 girls in my new office have since joined match after hearing our success story.

I will be honest and say that in the beginning I was VERY picky about who I
met on match.com, I don’t really know what I was being such a stickler about – because once I let my guard down and opened myself up to ‘dating’ I met
some of THE best guys – including my wonderful fiance! When we did meet, I
had probably gone on 14 dates in 3 weeks time (no joke – when I meant open,
I meant open for all kinds of guys!), thought my new date was nice and fun and there was no reason he didn’t deserve another date. I thought those same thoughts on date 2-6, by date 7 I knew I had met the man that completed me! Alex’s story is a bit different – he may have been ‘match.comstalking’ me for several months, trying to work up the courage to email me!
Finally one day, he had the courage and emailed me a hello…..

Match.com Best Advice (what worked for me)

  1. Don’t waste time on ppl you know you won’t like ;) There are plenty of awesome ppl out there – save yourself for the one! BUT be open – you NEVER know who you might meet!
  2. ALWAYS talk on the phone first! You can easily read chemistry over the
    phone and nip an awkward 1st meeting in the bud.
  3. ALWAYS meet for just a drink on the first date – dinner is too much
    time….unless the date progress’s to dinner.
  4. ALWAYS be open – I know it sounds bad, but I refused to date guys under 6’1′ – until I ‘lowered’ my standards – I would have never met my 5’6′ love!
  5. HAVE FUN – dates are fun, meeting new people is fun! Go into with a
    positive attitude and you will get positive results!
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