How Do I Choose a Good-Fit Counselor for my Child?

After many trial and errors in the world of therapy via counseling, I have come up with some suggestions that may just help other parents.  I am discussing a counselor by the definition of – a person trained to give guidance on personal, social, or psychological problems.

How to Choose a Counselor for your Child

The time has come, you have done all what you feel you are capable of doing for your child; your child needs the guidance of a professional trained to help children overcome various situations or disorders. There are a multitude of reasons why a parent may wish to seek counseling services for their child, this could range from mood disorders to anxiety or even assistance in helping the child cope with a parents divorce. Whatever the reason you feel your child could benefit from counseling; there are some important things to think about and note before choosing a counselor for your child.

  • Be Aware of Personality Traits that Work Best for your Child – Every person, whether young or old, opens up better to a person who has a specific tone or energy about them. Everyone feels comfortable opening up when they are speaking with a person who is able to display the personality traits that match with who they are as an individual. For example, a child who doesn’t respond well to strict demands, may not be well suited with a strict, demanding counselor personality.
  • What Type of Experience Does the Counselor Have – Nothing is worse than getting into a session with a counselor just to find out that they have no clue what is going on. Be sure that the counselor you choose for your child has experiences with the situation or issue that your child is facing. A counselor working with a child should also have some experience in adolescence, not just adults. Do not be afraid to ask the counselor about their experiences and expertise in the area you are seeking therapy for.
  • Meet With Multiple Counselors in Multiple Locations If Need Be – Be aware that counseling is therapy to help your child, if at any point you feel that this counselor is not a good fit for your child, do not be afraid to ask the counselor for references to other locations or other counselors. A counselor is someone who is trained to help people, which means they know that they may not be the best fit for every family. It’s important that you and your child feel confident in the therapy sessions, otherwise it’s a waste of everyone’s time to attend, including the counselor’s time.
  • Listen to and Trust your Child – You are the parent, you are the one person in this world who has spent a majority of your child’s life with them. Listen to your child, if he/she is not comfortable with their counselor then it’s not a good-fit for your child. Therapy is there to help your child overcome whatever may be going on, if the child isn’t confident and comfortable during sessions then it won’t be beneficial to their emotional growth. With that being said, some anxious children may take time to adjust to a new person. Just be open minded and listen.

There are so many things to think about before picking the best counselor for your child, but ultimately you are the one who calls the shots. Therapy is there to help you as a parent and help your child be a kid and move on from whatever is happening. Sometimes, a child may be diagnosed with a mental health issue and will require ongoing therapy to ensure their emotional growth. There are other scenarios where a child simple experienced some trauma, whether minor or major, and simply needs some therapy to clear their mind and move forward.

Whatever scenario you find yourself in, remember that your child’s feelings are valid and if you feel they need some therapy to cope with their feelings so that they can engage in a healthy, fun loving childhood then do not be afraid to seek a good-fit counselor. Therapy is there to help everyone and it does not mean that something is wrong with you or your child; seeking therapy simply means you are being a strong parent who realizes they need some help for their loved one.

“Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /”.

Marriage Counseling

When you are looking into leaving your marriage one step to try before ending it completely is marriage counseling. I feel that a relationship with someone is very serious but when you both have taken that commitment to be married to each other you should at least try to speak with a marriage counselor if everything seems to be falling apart.

I can’t say in my situation, prior to the divorce, that my ex and I did marriage counseling but there were far too many personal reasons for us parting that neither of us would have benefited from this type of service. On the other hand I have seen and heard from many married couples who thought their world was done as they knew it and after speaking with a marriage counselor they were able to move forward in a positive direction and save their marriage.

Seeking help from an unbiased outside source when communication has failed may be the best reasonable way to open up the lack in communication and figure out how it is your partner feels and a way for them to find out how you feel without offending, blaming the other person and having a heated discussion. Arguing, fighting and blaming will do nothing to resolve a marriage.

No matter what has caused your break down of marriage, if there is any small hope in your mind or your partners mind that you two may be able to move forward in a positive direction then I say at least give a marriage counselor a test drive. I don’t know if marriage counseling is covered by insurance companies the way most counseling sessions are, because like I said I never went through it. My ex and I agreed on the legal separation and then our divorce so reality is we didn’t have to attend these type of counseling sessions. Regardless of your current situation and the feeling that nothing can help, if you feel in your heart somewhere that you know you hope to spend the rest of your life with this person you call your spouse, then do everything you can as a couple to resolve the issues at hand by meeting with a marriage counselor and seeing if they can help resolve the problem.

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