Yes, Parents Need to Parent. Yes, Schools need to Address Mean Kids.

After writing the post I wrote yesterday and listening to readers commentary, it dawned on me that maybe my opinion on the whole matters discussed weren’t really being heard. Today I take a moment to explain where I stand, as a whole, regarding parents needing to parent their children and schools handling what they should handle.

Number One – I agree wholeheartedly that parents need to be parenting their children, parents need to be held accountable to handle their mean children and parent them to be well rounded, compassionate, respectful little human beings. I agree 100%.

With that being said, sadly we live in the day in age where many parents feel it’s the outsiders responsibility to raise their children. I am not lying when I say that about half a year ago I heard my fiance tell me  story of this Mom who basically cited that the “police can raise my son, I am done trying” or something like that. I in no way feel it’s our public service officials job to raise our children, that includes the school systems. What you will find, though, is that most of these mean and cruel kids have been “raised” {term used lightly} by mean and cruel parents. So what is the school to do about that? Sure the school can go and discuss matters with the parents, but that child will probably get beat at home, be treated poorly and never really be sent the right message that they cannot be cruel and mean to others. Instead, the children will be filled with more rage, negative emotions and come back to school being more mean and cruel.

It’s a sad cycle of today’s youth.

Number Two – I agree that some of the articles cited online and in my article yesterday pertain to private school systems. I also have seen articles about some religious schools decisions. Whether we agree or disagree on the proper way to handle it, reality is that those type of schools are out of our hands in control. Many choose those type of schools for that strict structure and balance for their children.

Rules are rules. Sure as adults we realize there are some rules we can bend here and there, but overall with the youth being the way they are today -  most raising themselves and their siblings. The elders in our school systems have to be strict on rules because the parents are not. Again, it’s not the schools responsibility to raise our youth. I totally agree. It is however, the schools responsibility to hold those who have broken rules accountable, such as a bully. To tell the child who was using a My Little Pony lunchbox that he can’t bring it simply because other children were picking on him, is wrong. The children that were picking on him needed to be handled and have a note sent home to their parents. The wrong message with that story, I firmly feel, was that a child who was doing no wrong gets punished while the mean and cruel kids get no or less of a punishment than what they deserve.

It’s a sad cycle of not wanting to offend parents in our society today.

Number Three – The school systems wouldn’t get as much flack if the parents were raising their children instead of having children raise themselves or being their children’s friend. Parents are to raise kids, we are not here to befriend our children. NO way is that EVER a good idea.

You don’t even know how many “party moms or dads” I ran into back in my partying days. Those parents were the “cool” parents, the ones everyone went to because you could get free beer. It was great from a teens perspective, but as a parent? I realize just how wrong that is. Today’s youth do not need anymore friends, they don’t need to think an elder is a friend. We are suppose to teach our children that elders who try to befriend them have something wrong with them. How on Earth can an elder have something in common with a teenager? They can’t. I am noticing that the school systems are sadly left to handle these troubled youth on their own because the parents are not willing to parent their children. So it’s no wonder the school systems are left juggling and trying to find that balance when handling mean and cruel kids. I will be honest, I firmly believe that a majority of mean and cruel kids either have mean and cruel parents or live in a very negative environment. Negative breeds negative. Positive breeds positive.

It’s a sad cycle of parents becoming parents before they are willing to be selfless and put their kids needs first.

 In all honesty I think I covered my thoughts based on comments from readers yesterday, but just in case you are not sure where I am coming from …. here’s my point in a short version;

Parents need to parent their children. Schools need to be able to trust parents to do their jobs so that the school can do theirs. Schools need to hold students accountable for bad behavior, instead of making good kids pay for the ill behaved children. Parents are responsible for those youth that they bring into this world and parents are the ones to teach life lessons; not the schools.

What is Happening With Society as it Stands Now?

Children Get Banned for SillinessIn recent news I read an article online that discussed a boy who was being bullied due to bringing a My Little Pony lunchbox into school. Apparently, due to the theme of My Little Pony seeming more feminine than masculine this young boy was being picked on about his choice in cartoon character lunch box. I am all for boys being masculine and girls being feminine. Totally, 100%. With that being said, we all can like similar cartoons or shows that appear to push to be liked by one gender over the other. I know many shows I watch are geared towards men, but I enjoy them just as much as the next male in our society would. There is nothing wrong with that.

We are raising our children to be judgmental and rude.

There is something wrong with that.

The part of the lunch box story that really struck a cord was that the school system denied the boy from using this lunchbox any longer, citing he had to bring a different lunchbox because this one was causing too much of a ruckus. Rather than dealing with the children who were picking on the boy, they decided to shun the boy for his choice of a lunchbox. I could see if this was deemed inappropriate content for a school, but I am pretty sure My Little Pony; a cartoon that promotes friendship, doesn’t fall into the inappropriate category. The children who were picking on this boy got a message sent to them immediately upon hearing this boy was having his lunchbox banned, the kids heard, “we can be in control of our elders and our peers”.

What is wrong is that our school systems appear to be sending the message to children that they can rule the world if only they be cruel & mean.

We need to be raising our children to accept and embrace our differences, this is what makes us a unique society to live in.

A more recent article that popped up on my feed was about a young girl who shaved her head in support for a friend who is battling cancer. The school banned the 9 year old girl from attending school because their policy cites that the child must have a wig or her natural hair grown back. That is their policy. Of course, the girl was able to return because this story got enough media coverage, but again, what in the world is wrong with our school systems?!

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