It’s highly doubtful that many people who know of me or know me personally would say I am a mean Mama, however, the question does come to mind occasionally for me. The reason being is that I co-parent and my oldest is almost 9 years old & her father and I seem to be polar opposites. With me Ki gets up in the morning, not by me waking her up but by her own alarm clock. Ki gets dressed then comes in and wakes me up if my alarm hasn’t gone off yet. Sometimes I get right up and other times I ask her to go brush her hair then come back and get me.
I have taught my daughter to make scrambled eggs in the microwave and she knows how to make her own breakfast; toast, pastry strudels or cereal or the scrambled eggs in microwave. I don’t allow her to use a stove yet but you get it, she is self sufficient and actually I see in her eyes the sense of pride she holds being able to make her own breakfast. It’s a freedom she enjoys. There are occasions when I plan to wake up and make french toast or a specially cooked breakfast but for the most part she does her own breakfast.
I get up, shower and make sure to do Ki’s hair in braids or whatever she may have planned for her hair. Occasionally she let’s me try something new, and sometimes when we do something new in her hair the kids pick on her but since she loves it she just tries her best to ignore the mean words from other children because she knows as long as she loves her hair do it’s all that matters.
My middle child will start school this year and he is five, so he won’t be doing all of this on his own, obviously he is too young. I will however, start dropping him off at the curb at school and watching him walk over the playground with his sister once he starts getting used to the routine of school. I won’t walk my child to class every day unless there is a real need for it, such as AJ having his anxiety or maybe a child who is simply born with a disability and can’t quite make it on his or her own to the class. My children don’t have a disability therefore they can walk their own self to class under the supervision of the teacher who handles their line into school.
My three year old takes care of his plate after dinner, cleans up after his messes around the house, helps fold laundry and sometimes even helps take care of dishes. I believe in teaching not only independence but that a family works together and plays together. A family is united and we all do what we can to help ease the burden off of each other so that we can have more time for family fun!
Back to the question; am I a mean Mama? I don’t think I am. I even asked my daughter if she felt any negative feelings about how I parent and she said “no Mama it’s just the way I like it” so see even when you give your kids responsibilities and independence they still love you for it! I bet as adults my children will thank me for teaching them to be independent because it will make being an adult a bit more easy!