How to Make a Valid Decision and Follow Through

Many are faced with decisions to make every day, whether it be what to purchase for groceries, what items your children need or much bigger decisions such as divorce, we all have decisions to make on a daily basis. I decided that I would make an easy to follow list of how you can make a valid decision and follow through.

Because you know, I am like so good at that myself. {if you are sensing sarcasm, you are correct}

While I may not be great at following my own advice, and really, who is? I am very great at lending advice that if followed through with makes perfect sense and actually works out as a benefit to your life as you know it! Come along with me, amuse me if you will.

Read on …

How to Make Valid Decisions and Follow Through

Yes. No Maybe. We live in a world full of non-committal responses and actions. We fear to say YES and NO more and tend to lean closer to MAYBE. This is not okay. Maybe doesn’t get you anywhere. Except, well, honestly I firmly believe maybe will get you nowhere fast.

Okay, are you ready for my advice to start? I hope so. I really do. I need to feel as if I am helping someone because Spring is here and it’s time to turn over a new leaf!

  • Acknowledge that there is a Decision to be Made – Come face to face in the mirror with your own self and make a firm realization that things just have to change. A decision has to be formed, sooner rather than later.
  • Understand What Decision has to be Made – Take the scenario that you are faced with, a piece of paper, a pen and write down a pros and cons list of this decision you are faced with. Do not do this during times of high emotion or hormone fluctuations.
  • Share Pros and Cons with a Close Friend – Take your list of pros and cons with the decision written above it and ask a close friend if they feel your pros and cons list are truly valid enough to argue a point to make the decision you must make. Logic, emotions and a third unbiased person’s opinion matter in the decision making process.
  • Set a Date – Make yourself commit to a date that you have to address this decision by and do not back peddle. Stick with this decision, even if it’s the hardest decision you have ever made in your life. Setting a date allows you to take time to continue to think it out, rationalize with yourself and hold yourself accountable to take action.
  • Speak Truth and With a Matter of Fact Tone – This is a great tip for those deciding to divorce or end a friendship, we can notice if a person is using a confident “they have made their final decision tone” or not. Do not allow the other person to feel as if there is hope, room for them to change your mind or anything like that. Keep a matter of fact, this is how it is type of tone when speaking.
  • Be Sure to Address Valid Reasons for Decision – When making the decision be sure that you are dealing with it in regards to logistical reasons and emotions. Sometimes, depending upon the decision to be made you may have to weigh heavier on the emotional side than logistical side, but I am sure you can determine which type of decision this falls under.
  • Breath and Follow Through to the End- This is the last step, be sure to breath and move forward from here. Do not fear how the other person affected by your decision is going to respond because in all reality you are the one person who matters most and that goes to saying without being selfish. You are not selfish for putting your own needs/sanity/emotions/well being ahead of anyone else. Do not stop to look back, we only move forward in life!

These tips are pretty much great for any scenario but with some situations it may require a long process to completely finish and follow through with. The whole point to this post really is to …

Allow yourself to be important. Your needs and emotions are valid. Life is about living it to the fullest in your  happiest of ways, do not allow anyone else to make you question your own well being. It isn’t fun to hurt others, but sometimes in life we have to in order to find our true self and love our true self.

“Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

My One Tidbit of Advice For Anyone and Any Situation

I, like most of you, have been through a lot of experiences both great and some bad. I, like most of you, have learned from these mistakes and do my best to spread my advice on what to do as a means to assist others in seeing a different side of their scenario. Some people love the advice, while others think I am meddling in their world. You see, I am great at lending just the right advice to others but not always one to take my own advice. I think that’s called being human.

How to Lead a Happy Life

I have a lot going on in my world right now. In December I accepted a marriage proposal and have yet to really think much about the actual wedding planning. There are a lot of other things that weigh more heavily on my mind and heart than a wedding. Children for example. There is a lot going on behind the scenes.

I wish I could share every last detail, because I am sure someone out there is dealing with similar issues, but alas I cannot share details. All I can say is that co-parenting should be easier than most people make it out to be. That frustrates me beyond belief at how so many fail at co-parenting their children, in return the children pay the ultimate price and anyone else who is part of those children’s lives. Sigh.

I think my simple most non-complicated piece of advice I can lend you all, no matter what you are dealing with, is this;

Try not to be quick in reacting with emotional responses. Take time to think, with an open mind, where other people may be coming from with what they are saying or doing in life. Take time to realize that, while you think you are doing it all right, the other person/people may think you are doing it all wrong. If you can keep a positive mindset, speak with heart felt opinions, and keep an open mind about the other side of the story, then I think you can survive nearly any unpredicted scenario that plays out in your life.

Do Not Ever Include a But in an Apology

An apology has unmeasurable power in the ability to move forward from negative situations. I firmly believe a good apology is second best to forgiveness. One may say that you can only forgive a person when a good apology is included, but that is not actually true, forgiveness is something that comes within you and doesn’t always mean the other person has felt apologetic for their actions. A true apology is something that builds a bond between people and forgiveness doesn’t always build a stronger bond.

How to Apologize Correctly

All too often I have been caught in the cross fires of a heated battle regarding a variety of topics, when people are passionate about topics they tend to let their fiery side come out and mean things can be spoken or typed. I talk a lot about “living the example I want my kids to be” and this theory holds true with apologies. One of my biggest pet peeves is that one cannot apologize if they include a but in the sentence, here’s an example of an apology gone wrong;

I’m really sorry I called you those names but you were being unreasonable and you just made me so angry. You shouldn’t have made me that angry and I wouldn’t have called you those names.

Can you see how an apology like that one would not leave the person feeling as if that friend is genuinely sorry for their actions? When you make the decision to apologize to someone it means that you are truly sorry for your actions and you can see the wrong doing on your part, when you include a but in that sentence that simply turns the blame back onto the person you were supposedly trying to apologize to.  Passing the blame or making excuses is not proper etiquette for apologizing.

Follow these simple rules when apologizing and you will find stronger bonds between yourself & your kids, as well as yourself and other adults;

  • Only apologize for actions you are truly sorry for.
  • Accept that you were wrong for having done whatever it is you did and that you will try harder next time.
  • Be kind, use a tone of voice that has an apologetic ring to it; tone of voice & body language says a lot.
  • Try not to make the same mistake twice; once you have truly apologized work to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

There are times when I am off my rocker stressed out and in crazy Mama Bear mode, I am not a perfect parent nor am I a perfect human being. I admit my faults and I do my best to apologize when wrong. One area that I personally am working on as a parent is to apologize for my wrong actions without blaming the situation that caused my reaction. For example, if I were to yell at my kids because I was just at my point of “had enough” but they didn’t really deserve having their Mom raise her voice, I will simply apologize like this – “I am sorry for my reaction, I shouldn’t have yelled, that wasn’t the proper way to handle the situation. I love you guys and I will try harder to use a better tone of voice next time”. Then when next time rolls around, I work to ensure that my tone of voice is proper for the scenario.  My kids have learned to respect me because they know I respect them. My kids have learned to apology correctly and take blame for their own actions because I do the same.

I am sure others may have good tips on how to properly apologize, what would you add to my list of items to share with others on how to apologize in a proper way?

“Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

{Inspiration} How to Lead a Happy Life #redefininghappiness

It took me a lot of years to get to a place where I realized happiness is more about a thought process than materialistic items or what you have in life. Happiness is an emotion derived from what you have going on inside of your body, mind and soul. Happiness is something that only you can bring to your life, no one else can control your happiness. Other people may be able to affect your happiness, if you let them, but ultimately my point is that it is up to you to lead a happy life and not allow anyone else to deter you from that goal of leading a happy life.

How to Lead a Happy Life

There are many steps to leading a happy life each step may need to be repeated for a lot of many years before your mind fully grasps the concept that happiness really is an attitude. I do need to remind you that leading a happy life doesn’t mean it’s going go give you a life full of sugar and spice and everything nice! Rather, leading a happy life has more to do with the mindset, remembering that even if you are having a bad day or a bad moment that you are ultimately “happy”. This is a concept that is easily confused by those with less experience in being truly 100% happy;

Being legitimately happy and leading a happy life has everything to do with a deep emotional connection within your own self.

Step One - Determine what hobbies or special interests you have that make you feel completely, utterly happy while doing them. The primary step to becoming a sincerely happy person is to ensure that you are partaking in your special interests as often as possible to ensure complete happiness is met each day. For Example: some play musical instruments, some write words, others listen to music or feel most happy curled up reading a good book. Take part in these activities as often as possible to ensure you are consistently working towards a fully happy life.

Step Two - Do onto others as you would have others do unto you. Give to others your time; a simple “have a good day” to the cashier waiting on you, a smile and nod to everyone you walk by or something as simple as kindly holding the door for the person behind you. Be sure to develop a daily routine of consistent acts of kindness to others. This creates a positive energy around you thus allowing you to lead a happy life more effortlessly. Positive energy around you equals being surrounded by happiness.

Step Three - Surround yourself with positive people, we all have those energy sucking negative people in our lives somewhere. While family members who tend to lean more negatively aren’t easily removed from your life, try to distance yourself as often as possible from anyone who feel it’s their mission in life to abide by the “misery loves company” mindset. Rather, enlighten your world with more happy people, those who feel they are blessed and are truly grateful for the life they lead. Happiness breeds more happiness, therefore positive people will bring more positive energy. Surrounding yourself with uplifting, inspirational people will allow you to lead a happy life almost effortlessly.

Step Four - Eat less fatty foods and drink less alcohol. While I am a fan of having a big piece {or two} of greasy pizza or the occasional fast food meal as well as enjoying an alcoholic beverage from time to time, ultimately filling your body with these bad foods or drinks too often, will affect your positive energy. Fill your diet with vegetables, home cooked meals and less fatty foods to allow for your body to feel energized, having more physical energy will release more positive energy.  Don’t believe me? Change your diet for just a few days and see how much better you feel inside and out.

Step Five - Exercise to release negative tension; anything from yoga to taking a brisk walk on a warm day can release a lot of negativity. Allowing your body and muscles time to breath, stretch and work out really does assist in creating a positive energy within your own self. You don’t have to over exert yourself on a daily basis, something as simple as parking further away from the entrance to a store will allow you a short walk and release any tension you may be feeling that day. Practice taking time everyday to stretch your muscles so that your mind is clear and body feels refreshed.

To be honest, the top five tips above are the best starting points to leading a happy life. Once you have mastered the top five tips above, you will find a happy life will manifest itself and others around you will feel that positive energy emanating from your aura. Others will have no choice but to automatically feel happy when they are around you, thus making the idea of leading a happy life an effortless task as time goes on.

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