Christine & Tony’s Story of Life and Love Part 2: Tony’s Story

I’m wondering if this is going to read like True Confessions; however, it is all true and it will show that bad boys can become good boys and men really only want the same things that women do.

I am 60-years-old and have been married for two years to Christine, my third wife.  She is precious to me and I have a very strong love for her.

I met and married my college sweetheart in 1969, had our son in 1971 and was ‘happily’ married for almost twenty years. My profession is in retail and I manage sales people for a living. Along the way, women impress and flirt–and if you are a people person like I am–you sometimes flirt back. One thing leads to another and I was having a torrid affair that lasted several years prior to my wife discovering all of this. My wife and I split up; I became a new father once again and got married for the second time. It was a tough marriage from the first day.  We stayed together for more than a dozen years, mostly for the sake of our daughter; however, about five years ago, it was over.

I found myself alone, and because of my wife’s behavior, I had custody of our daughter.

After a couple of years, my teenager and her brother said that I had to get a life, so I started looking.

My daughter has a horse, so I would end up meeting single gals at the stables. I dated on and off. Mostly off. I just could not find what I was looking for. I wanted to meet a ‘happy’ person. Someone who was attractive, sure, but my hot button was that she had to be happy to be herself. I have always thought of myself as a person who is happy and I am constantly trying to sell the ‘happy story’ to people, but I find that unless it is natural, it wears out.

I was determined to find a happy gal or I was prepared to go it alone. I became a member of Match.com and started dating. Most of the gals posted ‘glamour’ pictures. I hate those! Some lied about their age or where they lived. It was a nightmare.

Several were very nice and we had fun; however, no one was a match to what I was looking for.

Then, one evening, I was scanning the listings and Christine’s bio came up. She was attractive and talked about wanting to meet someone happy, etc. When I read it, it sounded like she was looking for me.

After several e-mails, we met for lunch and I was immediately impressed by her genuine smile and the positive things she talked about. Nothing negative came out of her mouth.

We started dating and I fell for her long before she fell for me. After a year, I asked her to marry me. I had told her all about my infidelity in the beginning and she did not let me off the hook. Lots of questions and soul searching on my part. I told her the truth and continue to work on our relationship. In the end, she said yes and I could not be happier.

I have found for myself that since I have failed at two marriages and have a desire to succeed at any cost, it has made me appreciate my wife all the more. She understands me and helps me through misunderstandings between us in a positive way, by explaining how she feels and why something is bothering her. I try to do the same, but I am not very good at it. I am, however, trying to understand how a woman’s mind works and will continue to keep an open mind on any relationship help I can get.

Thanks to Tony for sharing his part of the Christine & Tony love story! If you missed Christine’s Story please reference the post on site previous to this one.

Christine & Tony’s Story of Life and Love Part 1: Christine’s Story

I was in a tumultuous marriage for 13 years. My first husband and I met when I was 16 (10th grade) and he was 19 (out of high school). Our differences and personal immaturity caused us to be unhappy for much of our marriage. The revelation for me came when I finally decided that he was ‘just fine’ as he was but not ‘fine enough’ for me. So, I asked for a divorce.

Over the next five years, I started my own business and dated married (or otherwise unavailable) men so that I didn’t have to deal with my ‘real feelings.’ Then I created a list of what I truly wanted in a relationship.

For my next five years of dating, I kept refining that list. Over the next seven years I was in three long-term relationships. In each one, I would eventually realize I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with this man and would end it.

“I used the Internet for dating. This was very beneficial because it required me to create a profile with information about who I am and what I want from a relationship. My relationship metaphor became – whoever ‘central casting’ sent to me was a reflection of what I was asking for. With that in mind, I paid attention to the traits I liked in each man and emphasized these even more in my thoughts and my profile. When I saw traits I didn’t like, I would look inside to see how I was ‘asking’ for that trait and then work on healing that part of me. The top things on my list were high integrity, accept me for who I am, kind, even temperament, and a man who loves his family.

My final step was to attend a seminar where I received two fabulous pieces of information:

  1. When you are so immediately attracted to a man that your ‘panty hose roll up and down’ (my words), RUN in the other direction. Alternatively, give the man you feel comfortable with a chance. Because typically, when women are hugely attracted to a man, they feel obligated to not be their ‘authentic’ self.
  2. Men fall in love with women who are being their authentic selves. When women are altering themselves and trying too hard, men typically don’t fall in love with them. But, when a women is with a man who she feels relaxed with (usually women acquaint this with only being friends) the man will have the opportunity to fall in love with her.

Six months after this class, in October, I received an e-mail through an Internet dating site from Tony, the man who would eventually become my husband. I thought he was nice looking but not sure he was my type. We e-mailed a few times and then met for lunch. From the moment I sat down, I felt incredibly comfortable with him. After lunch, I called my girlfriend (our normal ritual after a new date) to tell her I felt comfortable but not attracted. However, because of what I had learned, I was definitely going out with him again.

I have learned, and accept, that I am a ‘one-step-at-a-time’ person. I need to feel comfortable with each step before I take it.  In August I fell in love with him and on our one-year anniversary he asked me to marry him, and I effortlessly said yes. We were married last June.

It has been a fabulous 26-year adventure of being single and learning so much about myself – it has included everything from an archeological dig to learn about the past, a present day of tending my ‘internal garden,’ and a space adventure of moving into the future.

I now have an amazing partner traveling with me on my journey. One of our big challenges has been merging two very full households into one – honoring each other’s important treasures and supporting each other as we let go of physical things we no longer need in our life together. I’m very proud of how we are handing this challenge together.

Today, I also feel fortunate to have a vehicle for sharing my relationship experience with others. Two years ago I started my business as a Dating and Relationship coach, The Perfect Catch. I’m honored to be a guide for fellow travelers as they seek the love they desire and deserve. Being in this role affirms my own life lessons and gives me the opportunity to continue to improve my relationship with myself and others.

Thanks to Christine for sharing her story, Tony will be sharing his story in a few hours on site, so be sure to visit back here to HappilyBlended.com.

Learn more about Christine by visiting her website and blog.

A Love Story That Truly Was Meant To Be

When I signed up for a free trial, Matchmaker was open to the public.  Now it specializes in singles 35+. This is what their website says; Matchmaker.com is an online matchmaking service for a more mature audience, Matchmaker is an online dating site consisting of 35+ serious singles focused on finding long-term serious relationships and those who are marriage minded.

When I was searching for a mate, I looked within a radius of 1 mile in the Matchmaker.com search. Michael’s profile was the first to pop up, living only a mile away from me. I’m not sure that we would have ever met in person, since there was an almost 7 year age difference. I did find out that we had swing dancing in common, after reading it in his profile. That’s where we went in NYC on our first date!

Tell me is Michael romantic? What was the most romantic thing Michael has done?

Our two week honeymoon in Hawaii is pretty hard to beat! Before I met Michael, I had never really been treated to the joy of fine dining. Michael often takes me to nice restaurants (not fancy, but affordable), and I’ve become a true foodie, he even lets me take pictures of our every meal. I’ve even taken up food photography as a hobby! Getting to experience new things like this and becoming a better person for it is what true romance is to me.

Anything extra to add to your story?

Our parents worked together, but in different departments. When she learned of his name, she asked if he worked at the hospital where she worked, because she had seen the name before. My mom then learned that he and his father had the same name. I had also worked at the same restaurant that his sister did, but we were on different shifts. It was meant to be that we would eventually meet  but it just wasn’t meant to be that we would meet first in person!

Vickie and Michael met in August 1999 and recently celebrated their 10 year wedding anniversary in October 2011. Story shared by Vickie Smith-Siculiano.

The Love Story of @IgboSwag and @DaRealChrisReed

I love telling this story, people always ask “How the hell did the two of
you… one from Detroit, the other Lagos, Nigeria, manage to find each
other in San Antonio, TX?”

Records show that @IgboSwag started following me, @DaRealChrisReed on
twitter sometime in July … he answered a blind tweet that I sent out in
August. I had just made the decision to re-launch my boutique PR firm and
was going to do a twitpic tour of my day. He’d obviously been amused and
invited me to happy hour at a bar here in San Antonio. Coming from Detroit
I am basically fearless, so I accepted his invitation. I mean, why not? I
had just moved to Texas and hadn’t been on a date in months.

When he walked into Azuca, a downtown San Antonio bar popular for mojitos,
I swear he took my breath away. The man was tall, dark with a beautiful
smile, just gorgeous. And after 5 hours of conversation I knew he was the
one … all I kept thinking was “he’s perfect”. A week later we knew that
we would be together forever. There was no chase, no back and forth and no
doubt about it… just a tad bit of drama, but nothing to sweat. Our
mindset was as if we had gone through our lives, letting nothing bother us
… just patiently waiting for us to meet each other. And when we did
meet, everything was put into perspective.

A little under 6 months after meeting, Jan. 3rd, 2012 @DaRealChrisReed (787
followers) and @IgboSwag (205 followers) became #TeamOgba … *yup, I met
my HUSBAND on Twitter! *

You can check out the individual blogs of @DaRealChrisReed and @IgboSwag here: about.me/chrisbethany and about.me/u.kelechiogba

I Met My Love Online: The Love Story of Angel & Dennis

Angel and Dennis met on Yahoo Personals, a site I have not heard much about since my younger years, having been together almost 9 years they can say that their love story is a successful one!

When Angel and Dennis first started communicating they lived about forty minutes away from each other, so distance was not an issue. Dennis is in the Air Force and Angel stated that since having been married she has been able to experience a lot more in her life than she would have ever dreamed.  Angel and Dennis move an average of once every two years since they have been married.

When I asked if Dennis is romantic and what is one of the most romantic things he has done, Angel replied:

He is very romantic on a regular basis, but this is probably the best one. For our 2nd Anniversary, he surprised me by having a stretch limo pick us up at our house. I am sitting there in jeans and a tshirt with no make-up on! He gave me five minutes to get ready, then the limo drove us to a hot air balloon where we took a ride over the city of St Louis, MO. This was followed by a romantic dinner at The Melting Pot for fondue!

Angel runs Personality Profiles LLC and is the Best Selling Author of the book titled: Stop Squatting With Your Spurs On! You can connect with Angel on Twitter @PersonalityDr or on Facebook.

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