Separation Anxiety is a Pain in the Bum Bum

I love my children. All of them. Everyone knows this. You can see it in how I write about them, talk about them, and share moments with them.

Sure. I adore my children and I adore being a Mama. 

separation anxietyThe only problem, thus far, out of all I have experienced up until this point of parenthood is that I cannot handle separation anxiety. Sure I can be tough on the outside and even trick my gut instincts to feeling secure with dropping a crying kid off for the day for school, I can do that. I have to do that. It’s my job.

The issue is that being that strong, every single day, for a child who is going on year two of all day school and never had this issue is that I was hoping and thinking that since my middle son is all settled in to being fine with drop offs that I was over dealing with separation anxiety. After all, my youngest has gone to part days preschool and all day kindergarten so why on Earth would he all of a sudden have an issue later on in life?

The answer is simple: kids will be kids. Also, the schedule has changed a bit, the previous years the school seemed to keep the preschool kids together and this year they are all separated. So you are seeing, not only my son having a difficult time, but other parents told me theirs are having a somewhat tough time too. Just not as dramatic as my K-man, because after all, K-man is my Drama King so he has to go BIG or go HOME. Every time.

Just as I had K-man pretty much to that point of being decent at drop off, sure some tears were there but a quick hug, kiss, love you and waving the “I love you” sign down the hall, without looking back, seemed to be the quickest and best option to allow my little man to be independent at school drop off. Then they had four days off. So we started all over again today.

Motherhood, parenthood, fatherhood …. whatever you want to call it, doesn’t come with one solid handbook for every situation and every individual child; you sort of just have to go with what you know is best for your child while still respecting the teachers, school staff and being the type of Mama you are. That means, I do walk my kid to class, but once he is in class, I say my byes and walk away. No turning back to go back. Nothing more than a solid goodbye with love and a “see you after school” closure. While this is hard for me, I know that once my son doesn’t see me in sight anymore, he turns and asks his teacher for a drink of water, he walks his independent bum down that hallway, gets a drink and is back in class ready for his day!

No one ever told me how difficult being a loving mother would be, but I am thankful that I can be that loving, supportive mother that knows when to let go and when to hang on. Here’s hoping this week goes much better than last and each day gets better than the one prior!

Four Signs Your Son is Ready for Boarding School

You know that your son is struggling to stay in school and away from trouble, but it is difficult to determine when he has crossed that line signifying the need for substantial intervention. One of the best thing you can do for any troubled teen is to remove them from their current environment in which they have failed to thrive. Yet, doing that is incredibly difficult because you don’t want him to feel removed from your life or unwanted in any way.
To help you make this difficult decision, consider four signs that any boy is in need of guidance, protection and direction from a boarding school like Wood Creek Academy:

He has little to no interest in going to school. You can’t get him out of bed in the mornings, he doesn’t apply himself to in-school lessons, and it is difficult to make him complete homework.
He has expressed a desire to leave his home as soon as possible. He doesn’t enjoy his home environment and has voiced a readiness for a change of scenery.
His friends get him into trouble and do not encourage him to stay in school and abide by the law. You are concerned that he will end up in jail or dead if he continues to hang out with the same group of kids. This is especially a red flag if he is hanging out with kids much older than him or adults known for trouble.
He shows no respect for the adults in his life. You know that he doesn’t listen to anything that you say and has an attitude whenever others try to encourage him to do better. If he has no positive role models that he takes seriously and respects, you should consider this a red flag. Every young boy needs positive role models who inspire them to make the right decisions.

If you read these signs and know that your son will benefit from a structured boarding school designed to help troubled teens, put your guilt aside while making the final decision. Christian boarding schools for boys can do amazing things for boys who have yet to find their passion in life, and sending your son to one of those schools in no way means you have failed as a parent. It means you care enough as a parent to allow the professionals at a boarding school to influence your son in a positive manner.

My Boys Turned 6 and 8

So August was a busy month; in between preparing for Summer to be over and the kids to return to school, we had the boys birthdays. My son Aj turned 8 and my other son K-man turned 6. It seems like my kids are growing way too quickly, soon enough my daughter will be 12 and she is already 3″ shorter than I am. Sigh.

Kids growing too quickly

The boys spend their actual birthday with their Dad, this allows each of our sons to have one day a year alone with their Daddy. So on K-man’s birthday I had the day with Aj while K-man spent it with his Dad and vice versa. We had a blast on those days, it’s nice to balance things out best we can through out the year!

Celebrating Birthdays

We had a great time for each boy on their birthday night … on the boys actual birthday they get a present, cake and balloon. Ki, my daughter, made Aj & K-man’s cake and both girls Chey & Ki worked together for the cakes on the actual birthday party day! We celebrated a birthday party on the Saturday following K-man’s birthday with family and friends.

Sisters

We had a fabulous month of August between the birthday celebrations and ending up Summer Break with some trips and swimming. Sadly, the last week of Summer was feeling a bit like Fall, and yet now as School is in session we are sweating to death with humidity and heat. Sigh.

So now I am the Mom of two boys are 6 and 8 …. my “baby” is no longer a baby boy anymore … he is now getting older and he doesn’t much like to be called a ‘baby’ anymore either. I am happy to have spent our month of August having family fun and celebrating my aging sons!

 

Get the Project Runway Look: Graphic Eyes & Playful Pink Lips with Mary Kay

Free Product

I received an email a while back about a look that was featured on Project Runway: Graphic Eyes and Playful Pink Lips using Mary Kay products. Mary Kay Global Makeup Artist Luis Casco was backstage finishing designers’ runway looks in the Mary Kay Color Design Studio, and with Luis step by step tutorial, and a cute video created by my daughters, you can see this Project Runway look come to life!

How to Get Project Runway Graphic Eyes Look #marykay #projectrunway

How to Create the Graphic Eyes Look

Sweep Mary Kay® Mineral Eye Color in Moonstone across lids from lash line to brow bone, then blend Mary Kay® Mineral Eye Color in Driftwood onto creases and under eyes to create depth.

· Apply a thin line of Mary Kay At Play™ Bold Fluid Eyeliner in Blue My Mind from upper inner corners to middle of eyes.

· Make eyes pop by lining the rest of the lid with Mary Kay® Gel Eyeliner in Jet Black starting from the upper outer corners.

· Finish with two coats of Mary Kay® Ultimate Mascara™ in Black for definition and curl.

· EXPERT TIP: To find the perfect angle for the wings of your eyeliner, hold an eyeliner brush diagonally over your eye so it intersects with the outside corners of your eye and eyebrow.

How to Create the Playful Pink Lips Look

Apply Mary Kay® True Dimensions® Lipstick in Pink Cherie straight for the tube and finish with Mary Kay® NouriShine Plus® Lip Gloss in Au Naturel.

· EXPERT TIP: Dab lip gloss in the center of bottom lip for extra dimension and shine!

Extra Tips for Face Makeup

Contour with Mary Kay® Bronzing Powder in Medium to Dark under cheekbones and along hairline and highlight with Bronzing Powder in Light to Medium for an overall glow.

· EXPERT TIP: Give your look serious staying power with Mary Kay® Makeup Finishing Spray by Skindinavia!

I had a blast watching the girls create this look and others using the Mary Kay makeup sent to us, while my girls don’t wear makeup all of the time, I do allow makeup to be a part of their world. I look forward to having an opportunity to share more tutorials using makeup in the future as I remind myself that my girls are getting older….

First time buyers beware: the hidden costs of owning your own home

It’s among the biggest decision of a person’s life – and it seems amazing they would only spend 33 minutes making it.

Recent research of 4,000 homeowners from Aviva insurance found that buyers now take a little more than half an hour in looking around a property, and often only one viewing, before making the decision to buy. The pressures of the market mean that purchasers are making hasty decisions, more quickly than in previous years – find out more in this Daily Mail article.

There is a sense of achievement in owning your first home, but with it comes a sense of responsibility. You’ll have freedom to furnish it as you want and no landlord can poke around, but financially the buck stops with you; that same landlord who would have arranged for the boiler to be fixed will not be there to hold your hand. As well as mortgage there are many other fees, costs and payments that will need to be made, some obvious, some less so – click here for more information.

The first, and most sizeable, is the deposit. The Council of Mortgage Lenders’ latest figures reveal that the average deposit for a first time buyer is £27,719. An average household saving 4.9% of their income would take 22 years to raise such an amount, a dispiriting and worrying statistic. The higher the deposit the wider the range of mortgage options available, so it would be better still if the saver could put a little more aside. Typically a lender will be looking for at least 5% of the mortgage as a bare minimum.

The lender will then arrange the mortgage and may expect an arrangement and/ or set-up fees. Some lenders charge them and some don’t and some will add them to the overall mortgage fee. They could cost a few hundred pounds or (low) thousands. While the fees may not seem significant in comparison to the deposit, they’re still worth thinking about – especially as you’ll pay interest on them if they’re lumped into the mortgage.

Mortgage lenders will want to know what they are getting for their outlay, and will survey the property. There are three levels and three scales of fee, ranging from a basic check that the property is worthy of the price to an in-depth, structural investigation. If it is an older property the latter may be advisable, which could cost several hundred pounds or more – but if it identifies critical damage to the roof, wall or foundations, it will be money well-spent. Structural Survey expands on the three choices here.

Legal costs, stamp duty (if applicable), telegraphic transfers and other fees will add up to several hundred pounds at least, while the move itself will cost money, for removal firms. And then there are the other costs, which you may not have paid as a renter: council tax, house insurance, utility bills and other new and annoying payments. You may wish, or need, to redecorate. And keep some money for repairs – leaky roofs and old boilers have a horrible habit of exposing themselves in the first couple of months.

These are the realities of buying a home, and they are not cheap. Preparing oneself mentally and financially, and then budgeting for a little more, might be the best tactic. For many, the feeling of being a homeowner is one that cannot be bought.

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