It was that time of day, my 9am to 11am shift at Moms.com was over, it was a sunny, warm Thursday morning and the boys had been so patient, entertaining themselves while I worked for two hours within the same room as them. I knew I had to do something, but we have been to the family pool nearly every day this Summer, I didn’t want to pack up and drive over to Vermont, I wanted something different today. The boys deserved to go out and have fun, because four week days this Summer they will have to endure me working 9am to 11am, they deserve to have the remainder of the day all about them. I work from home to make memories, so what kind of memories could be made on this fine day?
In all reality, I really didn’t want to go out in public, I ran out of waxing strips awhile back so my eyebrows are growing in and my upper lip is certainly ready for a waxing. I wanted to stay home, sit in front of the fan and just veg out, but that is not what my son’s would enjoy. Summer break is about them, it’s about having the best few months ever during their break from school. At least, that is how I feel.
I needed to just suck it up, get on my bathing suit and shorts with a tank top, ignore my bloated belly and over sized breasts. I needed to just think about the type of person I am, not what the shell of my outer body says to others. By the way, who gives a crap what others judge my body image to be from; I always say it’s from having kids, Winter time and lack of my exercise routine. I eat pretty decently, and I stopped working out; but really? It’s not my place to explain to another human being why I look the way I look. I am me. I am happy and the type of person I am is the type of person I want my children to grow up to be; what I look like is irrelevant.
I hate that my breasts are huge, they are huge because I fed my children though. I can’t complain for having large breasts because they grew from a C cup to an H cup because I fed my children. I lost a lot of weight at first from breastfeeding and I shouldn’t have to hide my top heavy body because people can’t handle seeing cleavage. I do not wear outfits like above, except when I am at the beach, but I do like v-neck shirts that are appropriate outside of the beach area. This is me in my bathing suit, one in which you wouldn’t usually catch me in, but this year, I decided to make a change. I decided to change my mindset…. I will be okay with my body. The wide hips, the lack of a bum, the large top heavy breasts, my large biceps, my upper lip not waxed right now, the eyebrows not perfectly waxed and the freckles that cover nearly all of my body …
I am embracing every bit of myself, because if I do not do that, how can anyone else? Also, how can my children learn to embrace their unique individual traits if not by their parents example? I expect the parents to be the role model, so while I can’t look in the mirror and totally LOVE my body image, I can do a few things; accept myself for who I am and focus on the love of my personality, accept my body as is or work out, excercise and go hiking with the kids to teach them that my body weight does matter health wise, but beyond that? My body weight will not keep me down. I will enjoy Summer break with the kids, and I will do so with my head held high, a skip in my step and a huge smile upon my face, because
I am making this the best Summer ever, and one in which will set the standard high for all future Summers.