April is Autism Awareness month. A time to celebrate, educate and learn to have more acceptance for those children and adults living each day in a world I know little about how to relate to. It’s difficult being a parent, I am sure, to an autistic child. From what I’ve learned thus far, it’s a broad spectrum and no two autistic people are alike.
If you are an every day reader of my blog, you may have followed along my life in regards to my now seven year old son, Aj. If not, you can catch up, but there’s a lot there listed under Mood Disorder, but most recently Autism categories here on my site. Basically, about a week or so ago, my son Aj was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum – High Functioning. This diagnosis didn’t come to a surprise because for the past two and a half months I have observed my son, taken notes from his teachers at school and witnessed him in his day-to-day life. I already knew my child seemed to be showing more and more of the spectrum as time went on.
While Aj has undergone multiple diagnosis’s, we firmly feel he is on the spectrum. For years Aj has exhibited some autistic tendencies, as his counselor has called them, but never enough to get anyone to say “yes he is autistic”, while I didn’t need a diagnosis as a parent for I am constantly observing my children and adapting in ways to raise them, the outside world usually needs a diagnosis to work with. So here I sit and write about what autism is for me during this month to raise awareness of Autism.
When I called family to tell them about Aj’s diagnosis, they of course wanted to know the question many ask, “What does that mean?”
My simple explanation for what autism means for myself, my family and my son is nothing. Really all that autism means for us is that we have learned to have more acceptance and patience. You see, Aj really seems to think like a computer or a robot so-to-speak. Aj is highly intelligent, has amazing grade levels at school, but in a social environment he may show signs of awkwardness or uneasiness. Aj cannot pick up on all social cues like we can, Aj cannot handle sarcasm or jokes like we can, Aj may not always make eye contact but I have noticed he makes eye contact with me. Aj also has flapping of the arms with happiness or excitement as well as rocking that has appeared in the past couple of months when nervous or trying to cope with a scenario he may not be comfortable with.
Other questions that come into play for me as a parent are how I will ensure he is receiving the supports he needs at school for the social aspect of his autism, because it’s evident his grades are fine at this point, but as he gets older the social aspect of school could take a toll on him.
I am currently awaiting meetings with the school to work on a 504 or an IEP, so far it appears they are going to work with me on a 504, I am okay with that as a first step unless I am educated otherwise.
Autism … in my eyes …
For me, autism is simply another way of viewing life, being that I have always been an open minded person and parent, it’s easy for me to observe Aj and learn how he works, how he thinks, and what is going on as-he-sees-it. As my child has grown, and without medications blurring who he is, I have noticed that really Autism for me isn’t a disability per say; Aj has grown tremendously, he fixates on certain things that he loves doing but how is that harmful to him? Aj loves technology and he has also started to show a love of interacting with his family and his best friend who comes for play dates.
For me, autism is honestly more simple, at least at the high functioning state, than your average person I work with. For Aj his world is black and white; you do what you say, you mean what you say and life is fine. Sadly, that does cause a ruckus from time to time, because as a human we know there are sometimes where sarcasm comes into play or maybe we say “not right now” far too often, instead of no. It seems in society we tend to be non-committal and Aj requires a committed reply and answer at all times. Aj thrives on a structured environment, he goes by the clock with any electronic time, play time, diner time, getting ready for appointment times, etc.
Autism hasn’t changed our lives in a bad way, it’s opened our mind, heart and soul to love deeper, more unconditionally and has helped us have a better bond than most families I witness. For me, Autism simply means love. The love Aj has for those who are close to him and the love we have for him is stronger and so unconditional that it honestly warms my heart.
My advice to those who don’t know enough about Autism, is to ask questions without judgement. My advice to those who do know about Autism and may be told their child will never lead a life like “every other person”, keep hope and Faith, work hard because honestly no matter what disability your child is diagnosed with, the hope, love and Faith from their parents can make a world of difference in their future!
And so I remind you this month, it’s okay to ask questions about Autism, but it is not okay to judge an autistic child by the book, they are so much deeper than what you see on the outside, just like every other person in this world!