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brandyellen

NH Mama loving life. Co-Author (w/ my daughter) of Positive Girl - The Power of Your Thoughts. Fueled by coffee, great convos & optimistic thoughts! Brandy Ellen, Virtual Assistant is a work-from-home entrepreneur. Question about this post or something found within it? Read my Disclosure Policy as well as Terms of Use.

43 thoughts on “Yes, Parents Need to Parent. Yes, Schools need to Address Mean Kids.”

  1. When my kids are at school, I expect the teachers and school staff to take care of my kids and if they see something going on like bullying, they need to take care of it. I want to be notified of course, but they need to handle things.

    1. I agree with you Robin! I teach them the best that I can, but when they are at school, I cannot watch them and that is where the teachers come in. If someone is being bullied, or whatever, the teachers need to address it and let the parent/s know.

  2. Such a huge problem, but I think this sums it up best “sad cycle of not wanting to offend parents”.

    So glad my daughter graduates this year and we can put this behind us.

  3. It is a sad cycle and it seems like whatever the problem is, it just keeps getting repeated because that is what people learn. Like the saying, we live what we learn. I think the major problem is that people do not see themselves as offenders of these issues. Hopefully your post will get through to a few people.

    1. Oh That is true too. Not many people are willing to look in the mirror and cite their own issues that they can fix. I am constantly a work in progress, I have an open mind every day to adjust and adapt in ways that will benefit me as an individual, my children and anyone else I have to work with each day. Being able to admit and work on flaws is something too many lack. The reason I say that is that I am commended every single time I meet with a teacher, or a psychiatrist for my son, or anyone working with me kids for being open minded and willing to adapt, they say it’s rare they get to work with parents like me these days.

  4. I believe in parents raising their own kids and I also believe that the school needs to be the ones that help guide them and keep them on track. Schools are meant to teach education but they are also there to keep them on track with how to be a good human being in this world we live in.

  5. I wouldn’t last 5 min in a public school system as a teacher these days. NO way. Every kid is NOT outstanding. They aren’t all special. They shouldn’t get a good grade for trying.

    No BOSS in the real world will give you a raise or promotion because you show up for work. YOu have to EARN it.

    It’s scary what lies ahead for our society

  6. I understand what you’re saying and it’s sad when parents and teachers can’t communicate because the teacher is worried about offending. My daughter is not in grade school yet so it’s going to be interesting to see first hand.

  7. The parent teacher boundaries are difficult to deal with. My son is two years old, and I hope that his teachers do a good job with him at his preschool.

  8. With things happening at school like bullying, I think it has to be a combination of the school and parents. The school can’t expect parents to handle things during the school day while the child is not with them but the parent does need to address the issue at home after the school has done their part.

  9. I totally agree. Parents need to act like parents. It’s not up to anyone else to set the VALUES of our children – but parents also need to have the confidence and trust to let others help enforce the rules. I see too many parents interfering with teacher’s classrooms and rules – there needs to be some sort of common ground.

  10. My Daughter is a teacher, one parent told her that she wanted to meet to talk about her teaching technique, because her son was misbehaving in class and was not getting his work done.

  11. When I was teacher I had a student who was failing almost everything. When I asked the parents about his homework and reading they said (and I am not kidding or exaggerating) “Learning is an at school thing, that is your job. He doesn’t need to read anyway, he is going to play pro football.” I can’t tell you how many notes about bullying went home and came back with a who cares note. I don’t know the answer to this problem, but obviously it is a huge one!

  12. Parents do need to parent. I don’t expect the school to do that part of my job for me. Though I also think schools do need to address some of these issues, just because it’s impossible to just teach the subjects and not consider the whole child.

  13. I totally agree with everything you’ve said. I definitely think schools need to address SOME issues, and parents need to step up to the plate and stop their kids from being nasty at school. Unfortunately though, a lot of the time the kids that are acting out have a far from perfect home life to learn from 🙁

  14. I’m a parent that feels it is my job to raise my child. School systems aren’t what they used to be in may places and I hardly rely on them for education anymore, sadly.

  15. I totally agree with you. I also think you’re spot on about why schools are left to do the disciplining.
    If my child has done something wrong to another child, I want to be notified so that I can follow up with the instruction, punishment, whatever at home.

  16. You are so right, it IS such a sad cycle. And it’s not getting better…only worse. I thought you summed it up really well yesterday but thanks for today’s summary.

  17. Back in the day, it wasn’t my teacher’s responsibility to raise me. My mom and I were called in when I was in trouble.

  18. When it comes to raising my kids since they’re not always with me I think it’s best when the teachers/babysitters/etc and I work together for the greater good of the individual child. Not all parents or all teachers/sitters/mentors/coaches feel the same though.

  19. As a parent I am always concerned and paranoid when my child goes to school. I am confident that the school staff and her teachers are doing their part in keeping my child safe. I don’t think it’s their responsibility to raise my daughter but I do think it’s their job to protect her and keep her best interest in mind while in their care.

  20. I take full responsibility for raising my child but I would really like to see more of a team approach with the schools. Kids spend a significant amount of time with their teachers so teachers can have a great deal of influence. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child. I’m not with my daughter every moment, so I depend on other people to let me know about the good things she does as well as the opportunities to learn.

  21. Parents definitely need to parent their children. Do not have a child if you’re not going to take the responsibility of raising them!

  22. I’m glad you’re writing about this and addressing it. It’s a sad cycle and just seems to be getting worse. I pray every day when my girl goes to school that she will be treated with respect and not picked on. If you’re going to have kids then you need to raise them and teach them right from wrong. I’m just speaking generally, not to you. The collective you 🙂 I hope this post gets around.

  23. i send my kids to school and expect them to be safe . When that doesn’t happen there has obviously been a lack of commitment from the school.

  24. Totally agree that parents need to parent. I have several friends that are teachers and the problem they have is that not only are parents not parenting, but the school administration will not actually discipline the children. Teachers are left with disruptive students and can not teach anyone.

  25. If parents would do what they are supposed to and schools would do what they are supposed to we would avoid a lot of problems. However, there will always be people who don’t do what they need to for their children. Just keep setting an example and working to teach your own children how to behave no matter what.

  26. That last one touches home. I saw kids with parents like that in high school. Those kids grew up to raise kids like that too. I believe so anyway, since they post their pictures of them partying with their high school kids. I don’t understand it at all.

  27. I do hear what you’re saying but don’t entirely agree. I don’t think all children that are hurtful to others are necessarily taught it. What they aren’t taught are things like respect, consideration, and acceptance. I was bullied dozens in high school. The school didn’t do anything about it. Parents weren’t told so they couldn’t intervene if they so chose. Now I have a son with special needs. I hear kids throwing about insults and using the word retarded inappropriately and incorrectly all the time. They weren’t all taught to do it, I believe many were just never taught what is acceptable behavior.

  28. Parents do need to parent first and foremost. A parent doesn’t have to be a child’s friend.

  29. I agree that parents *should* parent their children and teach them right from wrong and how to treat others. However, we’d be naive if we thought that’s how it worked in every house with children. So, sometimes the schools do need to step in and teach children important character building skills. They also need to enforce rules that keep all students safe from bullies and the like.

  30. I agree with you 100%! I think that parents need to start stepping up or stepping out of the way! If you aren’t going to parent you r child so many couples would love to be given the gift of parenthood!

  31. I definitely agree that parents need to parent. But if something happens at school I think the school needs to handle it. Sure, I need to be notified, but schools can’t expect a parent to come to the school to take care of a situation.

  32. I definitely agree that parents should be held accountable for their child’s actions and behaviors. The My Little Pony thing kind of makes me mad all around, though. I think the school, the bullies, AND the mom are at fault here.

  33. I think the My Little Pony lunchbox incident is horrifying. I fully believe that the wrong message was conveyed to both the child with the lunchbox (you have to conform) and the children picking on him (we will not make an effort to stop you, or have your parents stop you). I do fully agree that parents need to parent. I also expect that my children’s teachers will guide them in correcting bad behavior they witness, and let me know about it so that I can deal with it at home.

  34. I don’t understand why parenting has changed so much and kids get so much slack from their parents. It’s frustrating when the schools back down from parents, even though they’re right.

  35. I went to a private Christian school for middlr school. I remember the teachers saying we are your parents when you are here.

  36. Parents need to address their children being bullies and schools should holed parents accountable.

  37. I know that there have been many occasions where there have bullying situations in the schools my daughter has attended that were just completely ignored by teachers. It’s bad when a kid asks for help and they are told not to be a snitch.

  38. I believe in parents raising their own children. I don’t expect my child to learn how to behave from their teachers. Their first teachers have been me!

  39. Teachers are responsible for what happens under their care. They aren’t just teachers, they are guardians for that time during the day. If they have to offend a parent to make sure my child is safe, then that’s what they need to do.

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