Co-Parenting Isn’t About Personal Feelings
The holidays are coming and to be honest I have absolutely no clue if this…
So we have survived one week with Aj off of medications. The medication he was on wasn’t really helping anything anyways but sadly he does need some form of mediation to keep his mood disorder straight. We have had some really great moments with Aj, the first part of the week was decent but Aj was also having the stomach bug that is going around. I think the stomach bug kept Aj at bay and kept his moods somewhat level or at least low key. While Aj still exhibited the mood disorder symptoms, they were mild and easily managed. I couldn’t really gauge school level situations because of the stomach bug he wasn’t in school but one day last week, it was only a three day school week to begin with.
I have noticed that Aj is more vocal at age 7 without medications than obviously he was from age birth to four years. This is to be expected, children don’t usually start to realize their feelings nor know how to express them at such a young age. I always say my first born, and only daughter, was my first experiment in whether my parenting style really works to help children be confident, independent and well rounded. My second born, first son, Aj, is my second experiment with working on a different parenting style as he thinks differently than my other two children. Aj is a very literal child who sees the world in black and white.
As adults we learn life isn’t always black and white, it isn’t clean cut. Sometimes people ruin experiences for others, sometimes we have to pay for mistakes other people make or have made. Aj doesn’t see life that way, to Aj if he did no wrong then he shouldn’t have a consequence. While Aj is also famous, at home, for saying he didn’t do something that he did, you can immediately tell that he is fibbing you. Aj is much like me in that we are incapable of lying, it’s not something we are very good at. Usually we smirk or have this avoidance of eye contact so extreme that it’s blatantly obvious that we are lying. I am thankful Aj picked up that gene from me, because it make it easier to work with him.
I had a meeting last week with Aj’s counselor who still insists yes Aj has a mood disorder, but since he has not been on correct medications for going on about six months now, his learned or enabled behaviors are starting to come back. I won’t lie, that is my fault completely. I am the parent but I do my best, as do all parents, and with a mood disorder child it’s sometimes easier to deter a total mood fluctuation by allowing some behaviors to go unnoticed, rather without consequence. This isn’t a good way to parent but I am not perfect and now am able to see what I have to work on with Aj again, but it’s minimal issues and will be easily worked through.
I cannot say if I feel Aj needs mood disorder medications or not just yet. It has only been a week without medications, he stopped medications on January 20th. So we will see how this plays out, on February 5th he sees his current psych and I am sure by then I will have more feedback about my experiences and observations regarding Aj without medications. For now, I am simply staying strong and moving forward.