I’m Sorry, Are you a Perfect Parent? #parenting

After my children have fallen asleep and it’s time for my butt to meet the recliner, I find myself surfing Facebook. I love seeing what my family and friends have been up to. I love seeing pictures of the newborn babies, it seems so many have had a baby recently. I enjoy seeing what blog posts others have shared, and I often click over to read {if the headline captures my attention}. I recently was sucked into an article about a Dad not treating his son very nicely in a store. As I read this blog post, I found myself wondering if the post was meant more towards feeling bad for this child the blogger witnessed or shared as a means to use this scenario as a form to build their own self up. I was slightly confused as to what purpose this blog post was shared for; after reading the article I felt two things;

  • Sorry for the child to have to be treated in the way it was foretold by the blogger writing their blog post for the world to read.
  • Sad that the blogger had to use a possible one-time bad moment incident to build their own self up as a parent.

I tell you, I am not perfect and if any parent ever says they haven’t yelled at their child or responded inappropriately to something when dealing with their child, then they are either 1) an angel or 2) lying.  I feel I am the most amazing, motherly kind of mothers, but I too am guilty of yelling when it’s not necessary, responding to situations incorrectly and simply just being human. The difference is, I don’t judge another parent for making the same parental mistakes any parent can make. It’s not fair to place any parent, including your own self, up on a pedestal of perfection. That isn’t truth and it’s not real life.

Judge Less, Help More

Every Parent Faces Stressful Circumstances

Whether you are someone who runs around stressed like a chicken with their head cut off or you prefer to keep your stressful situations within the household, every parent gets stressed. No matter what type of parent you are, we are all capable of handling a certain level of chaos before we are tilting over our full meter. Again, we are humans, this is normal. When parents are facing more stressful scenarios in their life, their sleeping habits suffer. One thing every parent needs to remember is that a full nights sleep can be the difference between a nurturing patient parent or an utterly frazzled parent. Which do you prefer being?

Every Parent and Child Has Their Own Family Challenges

Whether you are the parent of a special needs child or the parent of children who have no special needs but simply enjoy life in their own childlike way; children are not easy to raise. No matter what type of child you have or what gender, they all test boundaries and limits at various stages in their lives. That is, in my opinion, how children learn to grow up and become well-rounded, responsible adults. Raising children during these challenging years can take a toll on any loving parent, again, we are human we can only handle so much on our own. Remember, everyone has their own challenges that the outside world may not see in any obvious form.

Judge Less, Help More

Extending a helping hand, or a nod with a small smile like “I know what you are feeling” can mean so much to another parent struggling to keep their child(ren) at bay in public. Even the parents with the best behaved, amazingly polite children can have days where their children can make them wonder “who are you?” Again, children will test boundaries and while they are learning to become individuals they will have moments that make you shudder and wonder why they couldn’t have attempted to show their individuality at home, behind closed doors, instead of in the middle of the supermarket for all to witness. If more people in society had compassion rather than judgement, we would live in a happier society. Next time you see a person struggling with their child(ren), try to reach out to them. You can get a feel for a parent who would respond to hands on help versus a simple “been there, hang on, it does get better” look or comment. Reach out in any way that the situation seems to call for.

Parents – DO NOT Allow Others to Make you Feel Less Human

No one can make you feel anything you don’t wish to feel, stop allowing others who judge be in control of how you feel. If someone else wants to give you glares or make snide comments about your children or parenting style, let them be the miserable ones. Learn to be quick witted, even in the most stressful of situations. A quick, snide “oh wow I didn’t know you were a perfect parent. Oh wait, maybe you don’t have children” comment can sometimes make you stay focused on your own life but make you feel good to give a snide comment to the stranger who is passing judgement. Putting someone in their place, politely, is always a good stress reliever. Do not allow others to make you feel bad for being a parent and having a child who is either special needs or just being a kid on this particular outing. Kids will be kids, and that is okay, do not let anyone make you feel less worthy as a parent or person.

Enjoy Life

Remember, we all fail from time to time. We all make bad decisions and we all live with mistakes made. It is what you do, both as a parent and a human being, with those mistakes that can build your children up and build you up. It’s best to teach children that even their parents make mistakes, maybe it will make them feel less anxious or fearful of making their own mistakes. Just remember, life is too short to do anything but enjoy life! Be happy and be the parent you are, we all parent differently, that’s what makes us a beautiful society full of different people.

“Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

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  1. Oh my gosh, Brandy, I can so relate. I try always to be fair, kind and patient with my kids. But I do mess up. Just this morning I was running behind on getting the kids to school. I was running behind, not the kids. I was agitated that the clock kept moving forward and snapped at my son who was coloring. Something rude like, ‘Why are you still coloring when I already told you to put that away???’ when he was just finishing up a very little part of his picture. I saw the hurt register on his face and told him I was sorry, that I was late and it was aggravating me, but I shouldn’t have been grouchy. When he was being ultra slow putting on his boots, I just went and helped him. 🙂 Sometimes it pays to put ourselves into check. Totally agreeing w/you, I don’t judge other moms.

  2. I often catch myself being less than respectful to my daughter, and have to apologize after the fact. I react poorly in situations that I don’t have a handle on and it is not something I want my daughter to imitate. I try not to judge others when I see their reactions to their children especially in public, and I certainly don’t use others experiences to tell myself that I’m such a great parent, because I epic fail at this. All. The. Time. and my daughter is nearly and adult now.

  3. What a great post – none of us are perfect – I’m still learning, and I hope I continue to learn as I grow with my children. I love Judge Less Help More. I always try to offer a hand – or a smile of support if my hands are full.

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