My only daughter is also my first born child. I am also the first born child so I know with that role in the family comes a lot of expectations and a leadership type personality, in most sibling cases. I could not be more proud of my daughter, as she grows older she only grows more beautiful inside and out. Some may say I am bragging, but to me, I am not bragging, I am simply sharing how proud I am of my daughter as I do with all three of my children. Being proud of your children and showing them you are proud of them only encourages a deep level of love for their own self. It’s much easier to build up a child than it is to fix an adult they say and I believe it to be true.
My daughter is the first child who I can see if my parenting style and techniques worked or not, not every child will take to the type of upbringing that my child took to, but here are some tips I would like to share to help raise your own child to become self confident and happy:
- Listen to anything they have to say from day one. Allow their feelings to be important to you, whether you feel the same or not.
- Have open communication be acceptable across the board between your child and yourself. Allow those risky off the table topics such as sex, drugs, alcohol and boys/girls be an open topic in your household from day one.
- Teach a sense of self value, do not spoil your child with materialistic items in a way that devalues the true importance in life, human interaction and family unity. Do things with your child from day 1; read books, play board games, etc.
- Make your child feel important; always be sure that your actions show your child that they are important to you regardless of whether they were naughty or not. Always show love through actions rather; actions speak louder than words!
I have encouraged my daughter to be her own self, to stand up for who she is and to realize true happiness in life is found within. My daughter knows that it doesn’t matter what anyone else, feels or does to cite they may not approve of her, my daughter is happy within herself. This adorable girl, who is 11 years old now, is well beyond her peers in an emotional and comprehension level basis. It amazes me daily how far beyond her years she is in comparison to her peers; remember to encourage innocence to stay as long as possible with your child but also keep door open to the fact that they do grow up. Open communication from day one helps to ensure you know what’s going on with your child at school or other places outside of your home.
Introduce your child to all sorts of activities, crafts, latch hook, reading, writing and instruments or dance lessons, sports etc but do not force them to partake if it doesn’t interest them. Give your child a say in what activities they really enjoy, there is nothing worse than when I see a child who is on a sports team but his/her heart isn’t into the game. The act of forcing a child to live through your dreams you had or never had is not the best way to encourage independent thinkers. Remember, these children will grow up to be adults and parents one day too, teach them compassion, love and common sense above all, make sure they have confidence to stand up to you. Yes. I said it. Teach your child to stand up for what they feel is right vs wrong, even when it applies to you as a parent.
The area I am currently working on with my daughter is to ensure she is speaking her mind and speaking up for what she feels is right versus wrong without getting that tween attitude involved in it. This is a time of hormone changes and sometimes they do take over, after all she is female, that is part of our world. I work hard now to remind my daughter that it is acceptable to speak up to her elders for what she feels is right but she must always speak up in a polite respectful way. So far, she is doing a pretty good job with an occasional hiccup where she will say “Mama I know I sort of showed attitude but I tried not to. It’s just that I was so frustrated.” That is half the battle there with any human being, teaching them to admit their own faults and work on them to be a better person every single day of their life.
I am proud of my daughter, who by the way, just received High Honor Roll both 1st and 2nd quarter this year! Raise ’em right and you will have a long lasting relationship with your child, well into their adult years.
What tips do you have for raising children? What has worked for you to uplift your children?
Pick up a copy of the book, Positive Girl: The Power of your Thoughts today on Amazon.com, co-authored by Brandy and her daughter. It is only around $5.39 right now on Amazon.