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Everyone out there must know at least one person who having been divorced with kids is now sputtering under their breath because their ex has become a complete insane person since they started co-parenting or worse yet, they started co-parenting just fine until their ex moved on and then it was WWIII. Here are some no brainer, easy to follow tips to survive co-parenting with a miserable ex, more specifically when you have moved on happily in your own divorced parenting life;

5 Tips to Survive Co-Parenting with a Miserable Ex


  1. Communicate about Topics That Pertain to your Children Only – Treat your relationship with your ex as a business relationship; only items discussed on the agenda are those that pertain to the children. Be upfront about what topics are just simply off limits and do not engage in communication about them. Ever. Such as how each of you parents at your own home, neither co-parent can control rules at the other home, unless your children are in harms way.
  2. Do Not Feed into Personal Jab Comments Ever – If your ex is constantly trying to poke at you with personal jabs about things that have nothing to do with raising the children, ignore them. Do not jab back and don’t feed into any drama that your ex may be trying to create.
  3. Allow the Children to Love Both Parents and/or Step Parents – Do not allow your children to pay for the issues their parent is causing with you, let it roll off of your shoulders. As long as the ex isn’t manipulating or brainwashing your children, they will eventually learn who their parents are. Let the children determine each parents flaws or mistakes made on their own time. Be happy if your children are happy.
  4. Gather Information Where you Can Get it From – If your ex is so miserable that they cannot update you on report cards or daily status updates on events that should be told ahead of time or as they happen then go ahead and contact the school system so you can receive a mailed copy of all report cards and other important notices that your children receive {this goes for a non-residential parent}.
  5. Go off the Radar – At times the other parent is simply so miserable that you must go off the radar completely with them as a means to keep your sanity. This is a last resort option but sometimes a necessary one. Be part of your children’s lives but don’t have anything to do with the co-parent because if you are at this point then there is no way co-parenting will be beneficiary for either parent.

Raising children in a split home is never easy, the older the children are – the harder it is. Just breath and take one day at a time.


“Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.

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Written by brandyellen

Brandy is a born and raised New Hampshire resident who loves being a Mom to three wonderful children. When Brandy isn't writing, she is working part time as an Administrative Assistant. Author, with her daughter, of Positive Girl - The Power of Your Thoughts Question about this post or something found within it? Read my Disclosure Policy as well as Terms of Use.

This article has 3 comments

  1. Carlee C (12 comments)

    Well I have to admit that I am happy that I don’t have to deal with this situation anymore. I did date a guy in the past who was divorced and it was not pleasant for me, I wasn’t even the ex. I wish they would had taken your tips and definitely followed the “Allow the Children to Love Both Parents and/or Step Parents”.

  2. Rosey (1066 comments)

    I’ll never understand the need for a parent to put their own resentment/hurt/whatever before the benefit of their child. But I’ve seen it, and heard a lot about it too, so I know it’s not uncommon. Pity that. :/