We Have No Secrets
From the day each of my children were placed upon my chest in that hospital…
When my middle child was born I realized a battle would be fought. Many of them. From the day this child was born I have had to fight for everything that is right for him. Out of all three of my children he is the one who seems to have health issues come up and he seems to get the short end of stick for many things. Amazingly, after all my son has been through, he does amazing in school. Sure he has to work on developing stronger reading skills but he can read, he just isn’t too confident in his reading from what I have seen. Aj has been put under anesthesia at least three times that I can recall and he is only 7 years old. My oldest went under anesthesia once and that was for tonsils and adenoids being removed. My youngest has never been under anesthesia.
My middle child has seen various people through out his years and what always seems to baffle me is that the doctors never seem to have proper notes in his files for him. The notes issue is something that I am now dealing with as it pertains to his mental health professionals. For instance, on Friday one of the people at his psychiatrists office read back what the notes said in his file for my conversation I had with the pysch. The notes were inaccurate somewhat and left me wondering what the heck was up. The notes were not what I had thought the pysch had said to me to do and so in turn I had to get back on the phone when the pysch called me back on Monday. Mind you, I say psychiatrist, but she is a “fellow” or what I call an intern. Not an actual psychiatrist who has been on board working this field for years, she is learning. I am also seeing that she doesn’t have any experience with child bipolar as far as I am concerned. I am also concerned she isn’t up to par with the type of medication my son is on and how it is effective to children. Never have I seen his professionals reference “well this does this for adults” when speaking of my son taking the medication. Usually the professionals site what studies have seen the medication do for a child and how a child would take this medication. It’s common sense to me that some medications would be different for child versus an adult.
The note in the system that really irked me was that it said “Mom called about an episode”… never do I call about one episode with Aj, unless it’s a serious manic OMG type of episode. I usually try to wait and work to ensure that Aj isn’t just having an off day due to me being off. Aj really feeds off of my energy I give off and I am always sure to give some time to be 100% sure that is not what is happening with him. After two weeks of complete, utter chaos in mood swings with Aj, I called his pysch. Honestly, I wish his counselor would call me back because he was Aj’s saving grace back when we first were seeking help for Aj. After much work the counselor determined that Aj truly has a mood thing going on; it’s not ADHD and with bipolar being pretty heavy in the family gene pool, bipolar made sense all around. Now i am working with this intern who says to me “I heard you, I know you didn’t call about an episode. I don’t know what his file says because I am not in front of it right now” then she went on to say “I don’t know why you keep saying bioplar, that is not in his file. We can certainly address that on our next appointment though.”
I just about lost it.
Nothing in his file, the file that you said is not in front of you, that you are not looking at right now. That file says not a thing about mood disorder or questioning bipolar? That really better be her showing no interest in having this conversation with me and lacking in her job as my sons psychiatrist because if there is NO notes about the discussion we had over a year ago with the head psychiatrist and the previous intern lady about mood disorder/bipolar then someone isn’t doing their notes right. The pysch then went on to say “well I don’t really see any signs of child bipolar in any symptoms I have seen or you are talking about”. Ummm of course she doesn’t because he is on proper medication but the dosage is clearly OFF. When Aj is medicated, oh my, he is a completely different child. Only those who have been around him not medicated or not properly mediated know what I mean.
I am jaw dropped at this point on the phone with her. I then ask to find psychiatrists that are more consistent. Aj needs a steady support system, not someone who is going to switch every year or two and then recite to me that bipolar isn’t in his file at all. Not even mood disorder? Then why the hell was he put on an anti-psychotic drug a year or so back that treats child bipolar?
Answer me that.
I have a meeting with this pysch but I am not looking forward to it. Clearly we are meeting with someone who just doesn’t work for our family. When it comes to mental health assistance you really need someone that works for your family as a whole, not someone who you personally feel isn’t listening, doesn’t care and is going to advise you to pop a pill to your kid anytime he is agitated. Sure, let’s give my son half a 5mg pill every time he seems agitated so that he can learn to pop pills when he is agitated. Great example to set.
Hopefully things will look up. I’m sick and tired of fighting. I wish his counselor would call me back, I could leave another message but I don’t want to hound him. It’s odd he isn’t calling or his receptionist to get us back in there, we haven’t seen his counselor in about a year because we didn’t need it. Medication was going well, the prior intern pysch was doing her job and listened. Things were moving smoothly.
I should have known things wouldn’t be this smooth forever, because that is just the life of Aj. Nothing ever runs smooth forever for the poor little dude. Thankfully he has a high pain tolerance and he adjusts well to some things. My concern is that it takes time for him to warm up and trust adults, so he needs a steady support system. People he can trust, people we can trust, and all work together to ensure a positive future for Aj.
Just keep fighting, fighting, fighting. What’s right will be had, even if we have to fight for years again.
P.S. Yes I become Mama Bear when it comes to my children. It’s just how it is, if Mama doesn’t fight for him or his Dad, then who will?