Sure Let’s Start Over – Bipolar isn’t To be Messed With Lady

My middle child is bipolar, he has a mood disorder. This is a chemical imbalance in the brain, it’s not something that can be “beat” out of him or “trained” out of him. It’s not that he is a bad kid, as most from outside view would assume. He is a great kid, in all actuality he is a very intelligent child, but he has a mental health condition. This condition makes his brain not work like most human beings, he has issues with taking social ques, he has issues with high and low moods, he has issues with OCD and the list goes on. When my son is on proper medication, he does well. On proper medication my son acts like your typical 7 year old boy; he will test limits, he won’t like the word No, he will want what he wants but his responses are not extreme as that when his medication dose or type is “off”. You see, I have been dealing with my son since the day he was born. It all started with training ourselves and having him see a neurologist and the list goes on to ensure that he was indeed bipolar or not.  We worked hard to rule out any variables in his life, including our own lack in parenting skills, to ensure if he was going to be taking medication it was going to be the last resort option. That was many years ago, every step was taken. We were honest to the people our son saw, just to ensure there was nothing missing in the big picture. We were commended as parents for being so honest about some behaviors that could possibly have been enabled through the years and honest about how we were struggling with a consistent discipline routine. Our honesty is what assisted us in learning proper parenting techniques to work with our son and in turn ended up with us getting the diagnosis I had assumed was right all along from day 1 of his life; mood disorder/bipolar. I knew that was his issue deep in my heart, but the ground work and hard work as parents had to be done and tested before anyone would diagnosis such a serious thing. I am thankful for having met so many wonderful professionals who were willing to work with us first and not just toss a script at him.

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Welcome to my son being off medication now, no he is still taking his medication, but as a parent who has watched this child, worked hard on ensuring to know him inside and out, I know his dose is off. The issue is that the psychiatrist he sees are switched every so often. We go to a hospital that has interns, each intern has 2 years {now mind you, intern may not be the correct word they use but in essence that’s what it is}. If we are lucky to get in with the intern on his/her first time there we can get a full 2 years with them, sadly our last psychiatrist for our son was on the second half of her term and we were sad to see her go. This is a woman who was there from the onset of medication start for bipolar, she knew our son inside and outside. Our son had grown close to her and was starting to trust her. You see, Aj has issues trusting other people, he is shy, anxious at times and is cautious to let others into his world too quickly. So now here we are with a new psychiatrist, she doesn’t know Aj, she has no clue about his history other than notes on his file, to her he is just a new test case {so to speak}. This disappoints me and has me wondering if I should switch to find another pediatric psychiatrist that has a more consistent stream of people who have experience with child bipolar. The other reason for having someone consistent and long term for psychiatry is so that our son has a way to form a bond with that person. I realize life happens and even in a full time psychiatrist basis they could retire, be sick or leave their job, but in reality there would be more of a chance that the person is there long term for our son. It’s important Aj has a bond with whoever is seeing him so he opens up to them, thus allowing them to really get the full picture of what’s happening, especially when his medication is off.

I called the psychiatrist on Friday and the advice she gave me really only ticked me off to be honest. I was very upset after talking with her and hope to call her today, because she is essentially asking us to start over because “she isn’t familiar with our son from the beginning and she wants to make sure that we are crossing off all the other options”. In reality she wants us to go back to counseling to rule out behavioral issues because his medication he is on is serious. Umm…. sorry no disrespect meant but if she read his file she would see we have walked this line, we went through extensive training and there were times I even was told “you are not sticking with it, you need to” and I learned just how important it is to be consistent with this child to ensure he is never questioned about behavioral when it comes to his medication being off. I’m sorry but when a bipolar child is off, and since he is now larger than he used to be, he can seriously harm himself or others. Punching out a glass window because his new-to-him psychiatrist that he will only have for maybe two years wants to “start over” is not okay in my book. It isn’t fair to our son and it sure as heck isn’t fair to our family!

Fun at Farmers Market in NH

I am disappointed in the conversation that occurred Friday with Aj’s psychiatrist. I am so disappointed in the system that is suppose to help our son have a chance at a “normal” life. I have a call into his counselor and I really hope we can meet with him soon because he was the starting voice for Aj anyways and the psychiatrist WILL listen to him more than me. Which is sad, I’m not a parent who wishes my kid to be on medication at all but he clearly needs it for his own sanity, his own safety and the sanity & safety of everyone around him. My weekend was a challenge with my son, why? Because his medication is off and it’s a waiting game again while I watch my son have highs and lows, have to restrain him often and watch as he falls apart all over again because his psychiatrist wants to rule out everything we have already ruled out with this child.

Vent over.

 

 

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One comment

  1. Rosey (987 comments) says:

    Ugh, that’s not a good thing at all, and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I hope the meeting will help persuade the newbie to let your son return to the medication that really does work.

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