Being a parent is difficult but when you make certain decisions it can get more difficult, you see your elders and peers may feel they know best and wish to push that advice onto you as Gold rather than their opinion that can be politely declined. I have had my own Mom moments where I just felt as if I wasn’t good enough, my choices being made were not the right ones, heck I have questioned myself from time to time without listening to others who feel they know best.
When trying to think of an example, all I can think of is that time when my middle child was a baby at eight weeks old and I had to switch to formula. Having breastfed my first born for about 9 months, due to her weaning off on her own, I felt like such a horrible failure for not being able to keep up with nursing my hungry baby boy. Around 8 weeks of age I gave my son formula instead of breastfeeding or pumping and feeding him breast milk, I just couldn’t handle breastfeeding this constantly hungry baby boy. Without naming names, I was judge by this one person who often had pushed me to be a breastfeeding Mom, I felt pressured to continue breast feeding even though it just simply wasn’t the right fit for my baby at that time, he went on to have 16 oz of formula each night just to get to sleep. I couldn’t keep up with breast milk for that kind of hunger.
There are times even now when I open dialogue about alochol, drugs and even sex with my kids that people are just shocked that I even discuss such subjects with my oldest. I would rather my kids hear about these things from me than their peers, I want my kids comfortable with me, not the outsiders that may not educate them properly on these life changing topics. I think some people forget that we are all doing our best as parents and really that’s all that matters – that each parent takes care of their kids in the best way they know how.
I read a post about Dear Mom on the iPhone and in all reality I have been that Mom. The one who had been too busy trying to get work done to support the kids and the one who just got so occupied with being on top of work that I forgot the main reason I chose to work from home …. to be with my kids more. It takes practice and so I can feel for that Mom on the iPhone, I have been here without the iPhone {just a regular ole smartphone}. The one who forgot that kids just grow so quickly and that eventually if you keep walking that path of unknowingly putting your kids second best, that one day they won’t call Mommy anymore. Kids who grow up like that will eventually turn to someone else for advice & attention. The sad part is it will probably be their peers who shouldn’t be the ones advising them of certain topics. I have compassion for that iPhone Mom, because I can see how easy it is to forget your inner Mommy, but the good news is that each day is a new one and if you realized today that you didn’t spend enough time paying positive attention to your kids, then tomorrow you can have another chance. Or, better yet, put that iPhone down now and realize whatever is on that phone can wait, your kids must come first before you blink and they are adults.
As part of partaking in this campaign I am to write my own StrongMoms Empowerment manifesto, while there is one that is superb I think I can get my own based on my unique personality and that is found below … what would you include in your StrongMoms Empowerment manifesto and will you go over and take the StrongMoms Empowerment Pledge as I did?
I am participating in a blog campaign with One2One Network. I have not received any payment. All opinions are my own.
If you’re not discussing issues of importance with your kids, you can bet someone else is, and it’s not usually someone you want to be doing it (like a peer who is the same age). I discuss the hard issues with my children.