Sometimes Wednesday Late Afternoons Suck

Now I am a positive person and I have semi-thick skin when it comes to my kids and the things they do or say, however, on Wednesday when my four year old spends the morning with his Dad then goes to pre-k in the afternoons, I sometimes schedule work and meetings as it’s the only full day I get each week to put forth towards work.

Working from home takes a lot of motivation, dedication and you have to give n take. That means, as much as I would love to be there when the K-man is dropped off to pre-K sometimes on Wednesdays I can’t be. Work has to be a priority as much as motherhood in my world. Therefore, Wednesdays sometimes suck and K-man is great at making it suck a tiny bit more.

When I go to the school on Wednesdays or any other day that K-man is having a rough time with whatever may be going on inside of his head, he takes it out on me and his siblings. So when I went to school to grab the K-man today after missing him all day long, he cops an attitude. Gets out of the school. Throws backpack at me. Takes off coat and proceeds to refuse to put coat back on. Whines. Yells. Kicks. Hits. Just totally not himself and appears to be an awfully ill behaved kid.

Then as I am trying to get him to walk to the car, throws himself on ground says he can’t walk and refuses to walk, has to be carried to the car screaming and kicking, all the while I am sure many people were starting at my child making a scene. The kid screamed, kicked and fought some more over getting into the car and buckling up. Before I even left the school road, I was near tears. I felt the tears coming. Welling up in my eyes and I just simply refused to let them take over my eyes.

I just wanted to cry, and be sad, but instead, I decided to talk to K-man and figure out what the heck his issue was. I know my kid and I knew he was mad about something, it was just a matter of deciphering a four year old’s mind. The route of his issue seems to stem from 1) he says Daddy didn’t play with him today and 2) he was sad he didn’t get to hug me before school. Meaning he was sad that he didn’t get enough attention {in his opinion} and that Mama wasn’t there for pre-k drop off to hug him.

Now, I am faced with a tough decision. Do I give up that Wednesday full day of working to take the half hour to go down and make sure I am there for drop off, thus interrupting any lunch plans I may have for continued client work or do I just make him understand Mommy needs to work and as much as I wanted to be there to hug him, sometimes I can not be, which is why I give him a great big bear hug in the morning when I drop him to Daddy’s.

I am torn, why? Because he is my “baby” and of course he knows this. I explained why I wasn’t there, and had told him I wouldn’t be when I dropped him at his Dads but he is four and apparently wants what he wants. Guess that’s normal…. how would you all handle this?

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  1. I don’t know you that well but it sounds like he gets a lot of what he wants. To me it sounds like it’s time for some tough love. He needs to learn to be independent. Are you going to quit your job because your child had a bad day at school? Can you afford to do that? Are you willing to do that? All you can do is tell him that this is how it is and has to be…he eventually will get used to it and it won’t be an issue.

    1. You sort of nailed that. He does get away with more than my other two would. I actually am working on that. I also talk to my kids as if they are human, so I felt taking the time to explain to him that it was unacceptable how he behaved & he lost cartoons for it tonight actually, but I let him know that I have to work and today he knew I wasn’t going so to be hateful towards me was not okay. In my mind I get torn, but out spoken, I tell him this is how it is. And now I just have to stick with it, he will get used to it just hard on me I think.

      1. Mine is acting out now too. She’s trying to be the boss of everyone in her class. Now when her friends come over I’m constantly telling her the let her friends play the way they want. Not the way she wants. Preschoolers are tough. She’s my oldest so I’m just learning.

  2. Your baby sounds a lot like my baby. He totally gets away with murder – because he knows he can. If it were me, I would make him suck it up because he needs to know that when you work, it pays the bills, etc.

  3. I agree with the other two. Tough love is SO hard to do and I know I can be as guilty as the next and give into it. I would say when he does those temper tantrums walk away (obviously to a place you can see him and he is safe) don’t feed into it by talking to him until he has calmed down. If he doesn’t calm down that easily start acting like he does. Usually that stops them in their tracks and start to wonder what you are doing (I don’t get embarrassed easily). They can see how ridiculous they look (It works most of the time!)

  4. I am not big on spanking but in this case he would have been spanked. I agree, there needs to be some tough love and part of being a good mother is setting boundaries with your children. If you can’t bring yourself to spank him the you need to find out what his currency is and take it from him when he acts like that. For my boys it’s the iPad. The minute I say they won’t be playing on it, they straighten right up! lol

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