Comfort In Divorce: It’s Not Their Fault
Divorce is the type of situation no one wants to endure – especially with children…
Every form of abuse, to adults and children, hurts. It can be physical and emotional, the sad thing is that emotional abuse is the kind that goes overlooked until that teen on the news is caught shooting someone or their own self. Again, I will remind you all that guns do not kill people, people kill people. I watch the news as these teens with deep issues go unnoticed and it makes me sad. I wish there were more rule books on how to realize your child is having an emotional melt down. You see not all people speak up when they are going through abuse, some have no one to speak up to.
It seems in this day and age everyone should really start coming to grips with the fact that there is a lot of stress going on in this world. Some families have no clue if they will have a place to live from one day to the next, parents get grumpier as they lose jobs, income and find themselves unable to support their children. Stress and worry can really do a toll to a family unit and the kids sometimes are the ones who hurt the most watching their parents struggle.
One thing I firmly believe in, when it comes to being a parent or any care giver to another child, is that you have to support that child. Even if you have no clue what the heck they are talking about nor understand why they feel the way they do about various situations in their lives – you need to just support that child. Always. No matter what. Do not put down a child for crying over something you deem silly, because to them? It isn’t silly.
How would you feel, as an adult, to hear that what you feel doesn’t matter, what you feel isn’t important. That you have to fit this specific mold to be loved, that you have to pretend to be someone you are not in order to gain acceptance in this world? Worse yet, within your own family unit? I couldn’t imagine having to be a certain type of person in order to feel love from my parents. Sure my parents didn’t always agree with things I did, they punished me, and yes I was a child who was spanked, hit with a belt and had that type of punishment for my actions growing up.
Although I am not a “spanking” mom, I believe that I turned out fine. It wasn’t abuse. Did I ever feel as though my parents didn’t love me? From time to time, probably. I felt they didn’t get me. I felt such negativity towards myself and them. I had issues. As an adult, I finally worked my way through those issues and am proud to be who I am today. This is why I will fight tooth and nail, every possible moment I can to ensure I encourage parents to be more positive with their kids and less negative. To encourage a love and appreciation for other parents and children, never would you catch me putting down another child or parent.
I hate when I hear another parent stating such negative about another persons child or parent, my skin cringes and I look for the nearest exit, because I don’t want to have this conversation. Most recently, I decided to no longer hide from these awkward inappropriate talks about other parents and children and to start encouraging a love for all. Who cares where you live, who cares what you make for money, who cares if you are better off or worse off than me – we are all human beings and there needs to be more love, less abuse. Emotional abuse can take years to fix, why not encourage instead of discourage today because the children of today will remember how you made them feel when they are in their adult years.
Feelings are a strong part of who we are. We feel a lot. Emotions are a huge part of our human being makeup. So today, I invite you to stand up for someone who is being abused, stand up and be strong for them, be the person they need to speak to. Don’t bash them, don’t judge them – just listen and do all you can to help!