Do Not Ignore Red Flags When Dating

Dating can be stressful for some and for others it can be simply fun. To go from a long term relationship into the life of a single woman it can mean so much more freedom and you may want to jump right into the dating scene. Maybe you are not seeking another long term relationship right away, but you are ready to meet new people and make new friends.

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There are some things to pay attention to when dating for the first time or dating all over again. Not all online dating sites perform a background check on those who setup a profile on their website which means it is left up to you to form a good judgement of the person’s character before you meet them in person. If you are not able to fully form a character judgement virtually via telephone and online conversations then try to meet for the first time in a public place.

When meeting the person for the first time make sure to follow your gut instinct about the person sitting with you on the date. Do not ignore the little internal alarms that go off about a person just because you don’t want to prejudge a person. Following your gut instinct when faced with dating strangers will save you from getting into a bad situation.

As much as we all wish to think of the good in people there are some bad people out there that may be seeking out females on dating sites simply to use them, abuse them or worse. I would like to say that online dating sites should do background checks on those that sign up on their website but that would require the sites to start collecting social security numbers which would lead to more legal issues, at least that is what was stated in this Time news article.

Whether an online dating site does a background check on members or not it is still vitally important to always meet in a public place for the first few dates and always trust your gut instinct.

Have you participated in the online dating scene? How did that work for you?

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3 comments

  1. Rosey (901 comments) says:

    I agree that whether or not you are using an online service or not, DO NOT IGNORE THOSE FLAGS. I’ve seen a gal I care about tons get hooked up with a man who told her then-five or six year old son to shut up. Red flag. Ignored, overlooked, whatever… There were other signs but that was in the beg. when he should have been bending over backwards to be nice. She co-habited with him for five or six years and left him because he was unreasonably mean towards anything related to her child (who by then was very close to being a teen). Things were even further complicated by the fact they had a child of their own in the meantime. It gets more complicated and convoluted, but it all could have been avoided if she’d have found someone more worthy of having her and her family from the get-go. Not every man is a family man, and getting into a serious relationship is not a way to change that…

    I think too that you should trust any red flags that go up when you get comfortable enough with a person you have met online, to introduce them to your kids (if there are kids involved). Don’t ignore the signs that are telling you the date and the kids are not a good fit. I think we get so wrapped up in our shared values with the other person that we can lose sight of the whole picture sometimes. And then that’s not good for anyone because that lovey-dovey forever anything you want stage does wear off. We have an unwritten contract to love and protect our kids at any cost. It’s easier to do when you’re married and all living with dad, but when other people step in…it becomes a lot harder and we have to remember that unwritten contract.

    I’m quite done ranting now…I’ve just seen several little lives torn apart where that really didn’t need to happen and it really, really gets to me. Careful who you’re dating fellas and ladies, and remember if you there are children involved, dating takes on a bigger scope than just ‘you and me.’

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