I am a small town gal, really I would go nuts living in the city, probably die of a panic attack, but there is something about living in a small town too long. I have lived in the same darn town since I was five years old.
My mother still lives in the house that her & my father bought when I was just five years old. Although I have been informed my Mom will be selling this property & moving out of town which saddens me to my core. I feel like that house and the land it lies on belongs to my family; it shouldn’t be sold to strangers, it should be a place my children can grow up to visit or live at. Whatever happened to family handing down things down to their children; like land and homes, etc? Granted I don’t have the credit to purchase this property or else I wouldn’t blink at buying it, nor do I feel my mom should hand me this land free, I would gladly rent or purchase.
Image: Simon Howden / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Back to the point, I am living in the same darn town I grew up in. I pass on the road & in the local stores people who I went to school with or partied with back in my high school years. I pass people who look at me as that fun, reckless Brandy who had no kids and no responsibilities so had a blast drinking and doing crazy things.
I rarely run into a person my age or older that I don’t know of. I know of everyone and almost everyone knows of me. You see the words “knowing of” doesn’t meant you know a person, it simply means you have heard the rumors through out the years and passed your own judgement as to who this person is.
You see, that is my problem. I don’t wish to pretend to like people around here, I don’t wish to prove to someone local that I am not that Brandy, that I am 100 times more awesome than I was back then. Sure I like to let loose, I like to have a good drink and a good time but there is a time and a place for such behavior because I am Mom now. Mom comes first, fun Brandy comes second.
Blog Friends: @elizabeth_n and @mommadjane with me at Type-A
As much as I yearn for local friendships, it disgusts me to even think about being fake nice and offering people over to my house for coffee or a BBQ just for the sake of being nosey, have an adult conversation or to get kids together for playtime. I refuse to place people in my life simply to feel more popular. I have no need to know someone else’s business, I really could give two shits about someones love life, someones parenting style or if they got arrested last week. All I care for is having real friendships, the ones like I have with @mommadjane where I know that whatever I say is said in confidence without some disclosure of “don’t tell anyone”.
With real friendships you don’t have to walk on ice, you don’t have to disclose that this information is for their ears only and you don’t have to beg them to spend time with you. Real friends are always there for you, even if it means they have to change a diaper while on the phone with you listening to you cry or laugh. Friends, true friends are worth waiting for.
I lived in a small town for just under a year and …well it was nice, but very confining. I’m not much of a city girl either though so I understand where you are at!
Are you thinking of moving?
Wow, that was really quite a rant! However, I am not being judgemental, we’ve all felt that similar frustrations at some time. I would not purpose to give you specific advice because all of our lives are quite different; however, as someone who is also from a small town, a bit older, and familiar with life in both big cities and small towns, I would caution you with the following: (1) Where you are in your life is based on the choices that you made. It is not the fault of other individuals. If you choose to be fake with people it is because you prefer dealing with the consequences of that option over the other option(s). Understanding and accepting this truth it can be very empowering. (2) Every time we make a choice we give up something else (the “two roads diverged in a yellow wood” thing). That something else we gave up isn’t necessarily better and even if it was, trying to reset back to that other path will cause immense harm to those who walk with you on your current path. (3) The problems that you are dealing with aren’t particular to a small town. All of us like fresh starts. If you can’t find one via a physical change you may try for an emotional or spiritual reset.
Also, another life lesson I’ve learned — never rant while you are upset. You’ll just about always regret it.
I hope this helps. Your post brought back many memories of my own actions and thoughts. I hope my reply helps you.
New blog Post: Living in a Small Town Too Long http://ow.ly/1dMzB2
I LOVE living in a small town. Well, technically it is a big town, but we are far away from it! So we have property. But yes, I love the idea of a small town where you know everyone and they know you. I agree about the friends thing too. Gossip is something I dislike so. much. I also hear ya on the friends where you can totally trust without ever having to say,please don’t tell anyone this, you just KNOW that they WONT. THose are hard to find! So when you find them, hold on tight đŸ™‚ Great post!
RT @brandyellen: Living in a Small Town Too Long http://t.co/4BPx633