I am taking some time to find me again, it seems I was lost somewhere. Don’t ask where because I don’t know. All that I know is I am off balance again, this happens with a particular relationship but not friendships. I do well with some people and not so well with others. I don’t mean to say these people I don’t do well with are bad people, after all most of the people I know and/or have dated are really decent people. It’s simply a matter of fact that I feed off of other people’s energy. I have a more positive energy usually, but when I am around someone who doesn’t have a similarly positive energy force behind them I get sucked dry of my balance and positive energy.
Lately I have been feeling off centered, fighting with depression type feelings and the fight is insane to move up and away from this energy that is pulling me down. Without going into too much detail, there are times in my life when I feel so awesome, I have an open heart, mind and soul, the positive energy flourishes and I am smiling more often than not. In the past few months or so my mouth has started to turn downward… like a frown, permanently implanted on my face. This is not me. I am usually happy and my lips tend to curve slightly upwards from smiling so much.
I am at my happiest when I am surrounded by supportive, giving and positive people and energy sources. Energy comes from music, people and weather. A rainy day you tend to feel a bit more lazy and gloomy especially if it is a dark cloudy rainy day. Sunshine comes out and the breeze is just right, this makes you feel warm, fuzzy and you smile more. At least this is how I feel.
I am at my happiest when I don’t have to get upset with another person in my life not helping in the way I feel they should. I work many hours from home as both a mom and a self employed professional woman. I don’t need to be also doing all of the household chores, all of the taking care of children tasks and draining my positive mindset. You see, I do my best when I am with someone who gives and takes. I am a give and take kind of person but when I start being surrounded with people who simply take or are just there then my energy level gets depleted and slowly my personal foundation crumbles.
So if you say who a person is with shouldn’t affect who they are, then you are correct and wrong. So many of us are prone to want to “keep the family together” or let our own needs, wants and desires sit on the back burner because we are parents. Well sorry to say this, everyone, I seriously refuse to set anything that is important to me on the back burner. My well being and my most happiest of times are vitally important to the success of my children turning out happy, healthy and well rounded.
I am at my happiest when surrounded by like minded individuals who are motivated and hold a positive energy force within them. That is my simply being happy moment.
What is it that makes you happiest, and I mean happiest in your heart, mind and soul?