I am the mother of a girl, which means I spend time thinking about how my daughter is perceiving woman to be “hot” aka attractive to other people. I do not mean in the man interest way for her, but just in general. A couple of years ago my daughter stated to me that she is too big, that her friend is so small and tiny. My daughter is starting to realize that not every girl or woman is created “equal”.
I have curves, I have hips and I have learned to love my body over the years and my personality usually catches people before any body image does {ok so I lied, my chest catches peoples attention fast}. You see all of the models in magazines are usually skinny, covered in make up and dressed to kill. They are HOT, seriously, but are they “real”? I say no, they may be real people with great personalities but their body images that are shown all over the most popular magazines are not that of a normal every day average female.
What is average female? According to all the research I have done it seems the average female in the United States comes in at about 162.9 lbs and wears a size 14. I weigh 210lbs and where a size 15/16 depending upon the brand {yes that weight and size in all pics within this blog post}. So my weight isn’t “average” but I am also top heavy and have more muscle in my legs and arms than fat which I think accounts for my weight seeming high.
Obviously I could lose some weight or tone up my tummy a bit more to get my BMI to a healthier level and be feeling a bit more “fit” but I am confident in who I am today! This confident attitude I try to push onto my daughter because she isn’t a pole, she has meat on her bones, but she is gorgeous. I think she has the best eyes and sweetest smile. The girl is a giver and cares deeply for anyone who walks into her life, or even another kid in class who she may not know. My daughter is a kind hearted little girl and I so wish the media would stop pushing the idea that skinny is IN down our throats, because I don’t know how a skinny, no meat on their bones body is healthy? I would assume not enough fat would be just as bad for your body as being over weight is.
So I ask you all today, what makes a woman HOT? Also, how do you push those media images out of your child’s mind to keep their self esteem moving up?
P.S. I swore I wouldn’t share my weight number online until I lost all the weight, but alas it goes with the territory of me trying to prove the point that age is just a number and so is the weight on a scale!
I LOVED your post! I used to worry about my weight, but I have since decided that the cycle of negative thoughts just isn’t worth it to me. I’d rather be happy with who I am then be constantly worrying about not looking like the models. I read an interesting fact that for every women who looks like a Barbie doll their are 100,000 other women who don’t look like Barbie.
To answer your question- any women who loves how she is made regardless of her size is hot in my mind! And every women is beautiful in her own way!
By the way, you look really pretty in that second picture! I love your hair! I want it! 😀 (mine is as straight with a little wave….UGH!)
Check out my post on this issue here-http://bit.ly/hcjP9y
Great post. An attractive woman is one who gorgeous on the inside and speaks with interesting thoughts. I hate to see gorgeous girls who can only talk about beauty products or shopping.
Hot is all in the attitude!! IMHO. 🙂
I forget to add that a women is also “hot” if she’s beautiful on the inside as well!
We are nearly identical in size, I am 5’7 and about 20 pounds under you but I was reading your post and realizing I have a daughter as well. The thing is, I have always been self conscious about being overly top heavy when the rest of me isn’t. But I don’t want my daughter to feel bad about herself because at 8 years old she is just perfect. What changed for me was actually going back to college, because I climbed out of my box and was social with other males and found out that even though i thought i was just a fat frumpy mom, there were plenty of males who looked my way still. So I put in an effort to throw on a little makeup and I am trying to alter my wardrobe so it will accentuate me. I think it took me hitting 30 to actually get comfortable in my skin. There is something to be said for that switch in your head that turns on in your head, the one that opens your mind and lets you realize that life is more than looks, ya know?
I am 5’6″ so only an inch shorter too. I hear you, I need to find clothing that works for me, but my kids wardrobes come first and I don’t have extra funds for my clothing 🙁 Thanks for the great comment!
What a great post! I, too, have a daughter and I worry every single day that as she grows, she won’t feel good about herself and may fall into my footsteps as far as body image is concerned. You see, I was in a very abusive relationship that lasted from the time I was 16 until I was 23 or 24. I was CONSTANTLY told I was too fat…too ugly…Not good enough, etc…After hearing that for SO long, coupled with the media’s depiction of beauty, I am now almost 30 years old and I am fighting bulimia. (Which I am not proud of, and haven’t really talked about much with family or friends.) I am 5 ft 4, and I weigh 147 lbs. I wear an 8-10, but I have the belly pooch that comes along with having 3 c-sections. I am SO horrified by my appearance and lack of confidence that I often keep to myself and don’t want to go out because I am afraid that people will judge me. I know this is an illness, and it’s one I want to overcome. I cry EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I really wish the media would use depictions of REAL women rather than what I like to call “Lollipop Ladies”, whose heads seem bigger than the rest of their impossibly thin bodies. I wish I could see women with thighs and hips and bellies being called attractive. It’s very, very hard to battle an eating disorder when all I see are messages saying I am not “good enough” everywhere I turn. I hope to be strong enough to eventually love myself, as is, and I hope that my daughter is able to grow up in a world that appreciates beauty in REAL sizes. Thanks for a great post! You look great, by the way!
What makes a woman hot? 100 degree weather! (Grooooaan…I know, me and my terrible jokes! I just can’t help myself! 😉 )
In all seriousness, body image is a thorny area for everyone, and it’s really too bad. I’ve read interviews with models/actresses who felt insecure with how they looked, despite the world thinking they look perfect. It all comes down to self-confidence – it’s amazing how different our self-perception can be from reality.
I agree with Stacie. It’s attitude, confidence, and who you are on the inside. Doesn’t matter what you look like on the outside, if you are ugly on the inside.
I believe that confidence and integrity is what makes a woman sexy. You can’t say confidence just by itself – because we have all seen those women who are “confident” to the point of arrogant and you can tell they are trying to cover up how they REALLY feel.
The way a woman carries herself says so much. You can tell when someone takes pride in themselves and how they look and how other people perceive them. Unfortunately we DO live in an appearance obsessed World, and though I do believe that “beauty begins on the inside” – most people go on appearance and first impression and never take the time to learn the “inside.”
As a mother of a Tween, INTEGRITY has been the #1 thing I preach and teach to my daughter. I think that if all of our daughters had integrity and self love and respect, we would have a much different World.
This is such a tough issue for girls today, as it always has been. I grew up with these same images of 110 lb girls and while it’s something I want … I know it’s not realistic for my body type. Yet, it still hard to push that ideal body type away. Media is damaging the minds of women and young girls for sure.
I don’t have a little girl yet but I do have a little boy and I worry that because of all the images he sees on TV he’s going to focus on looks when it comes to finding a girlfriend/wife. I want to try and teach him how there are more important things like intelligence and having a kind heart but it’s hard when everyone seems so focused on appearances!
I think it’s something I’ll have to take day by day and just teach him as it comes up!
This is a tough question. What makes someone hot is probably personality and confidence. Many runway models are actually a little quirky looking, odd features, but they have the confidence to pull it off.
Women are more into being skinny than men want them to be skinny. I was so SCRAWNY thanks to an ED I had in college. It didn’t come from a desire of being skinny, as much as control (now that I reflect) in the form of my weight. And you’re right – too skinny is very unhealthy. It makes hair grow in weird places, you sweat at night yet freeze all day. And you are just tiiiiired.
As an adult, though, I decided to get fit for real and GAINED weight and have been fighting the stereotype that a lower weight is better. A strong and healthy and balanced body is best. But even that is nothing without confidence, as Olympia competitor Erin Stern has been telling me.
So… what is hot. A mixture of strength and confidence is what I would tell my niece. 🙂 (Thank goodness I have boys. 🙂 )
What makes a woman hot is her confidence in herself. You’re smile and honesty is amazing. Again, I love reading your site Brandy!! You take courage to a whole new meaning