Oh the negative words!
The words used for the title of this article hurt me so badly that whenever I hear them my heart aches. Not only because negativity is so hard for me to bear but because I can relate to feeling like this. I used to think that every person in the whole wide world hated me, I would sit at night all by myself and wonder where my life was going. I would worry about whether or not I would ever be married. I worried if my parents would ever feel I was good enough. I often had panic attacks, anxiety, and depression episodes.
One year my panic attacks were so bad that I looked at my boss and had this concerned look on my face. When my boss asked what was wrong, I replied that my heart and left arm was aching really bad and it felt almost like a heart attack or something. I couldn’t muster up the right adjectives to describe the feeling that had just overcome my heart and left arm. My boss told me this was a panic attack. Which would make sense, the job I held in this office was a high paced, multi-tasking one and it’s one in which had introduced me to coffee consumption versus tea drinking.
Of course I visited the doctor and ended up being diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and was provided a prescription for Lexapro and after losing health insurance I could no longer take the medication so I decided to teach myself how to stay calm and control the fears, worry and depression. When people ask me how I went from a shy, depressed, worried young adult to a more independent, happy go lucky older adult I can’t seem to explain what it was that made me wake up and realize “I want better”, “I am better” and “I deserve the best”.
Since so many are struggling with removing those negative thoughts and replacing them with positive, I thought the best way to assist them in moving forward towards a more positive life would be best served through daily blog posts that tell a story of my personal journey to becoming a more positive person. I look forward to sharing with you my journey! Each day I will share with you a little more of the story of how I went from a negative, low self esteemed young adult to a positive, full self esteemed older adult.
If you have any tips, advice, personal stories to share along with me please feel free to leave comments, I read them all and I do my best to respond to them all.
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I can’t wait to read about your progression! I bet this will help alot of people!
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Free Game For This Week – (At Least Until Sunday) =-.
RT @brandyellen It Started with Anxiety Disorder | Happily Blended http://bit.ly/9QUAfv
Twitter: frostedfingers
(10 comments) says:
Thanks for starting this series Brandy! I’m a very shy person and would love to hear what you have to say. I’m going to subscribe to your blog so I don’t miss a post.
.-= Paula´s last blog ..Cafe Press Review and Giveaway =-.
Twitter: handmadebykelly
(4 comments) says:
my husband went through a transformation where he use to be shy and now he is very outgoing (although he never did have panic attacks). I am looking forward to reading your story.
.-= Kelly W´s last blog ..Brandy’s Battle =-.
Twitter: cltalbert
(6 comments) says:
I can really relate to this. I’ve suffered from depression and anxiety all my life. I still struggle with it almost on a daily basis. I know I should be medicated, but due to lack of health insurance I am unable to do that right now.
.-= Cascia@Healthy Moms´s last blog ..Getting Defiant Kids to Cooperate =-.
RT @brandyellen It Started with Anxiety Disorder | Happily Blended http://bit.ly/9QUAfv
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So glad I read this post today. I have been in a funk today and a bit depressed. My issues are with making other real life women friends. I am looking forward to reading the rest of your series.
.-= Sandy@TheMommysPlace´s last blog ..Tic Tac Toe Fun…..Check it Out =-.
RT @brandyellen It Started with Anxiety Disorder | Happily Blended http://bit.ly/9QUAfv
Twitter: Penelopes_Oasis
(80 comments) says:
A lot of people go through this, yet it’s still hard to talk about for many. (((Brandy)))
.-= Penelope´s last blog ..WalletBe Men’s Wallets- Review =-.
I watched “The Secret” every single day for 30 days. After 30 days I truly was a different person. I had anxiety issues, depression issues, I went off the deep end and pretty much destroyed my life (had an affair, left my husband, walked away from my career, started drinking… it was bad) It took 30 days of watching that movie for it to really “sink in”and now I practice those lessons every single day.
Good luck on your journey, it is such an important event for you, and for your children.
.-= Lynsey Jones´s last blog ..Monday Mingle – May 31, 2010 =-.
RT @brandyellen It Started with Anxiety Disorder | Happily Blended http://bit.ly/9QUAfv
I have suffered from depression and anxiety issues since I was a young girl myself. It can be so life consuming. Luckily I had a wonderful mother that sought out help for me. Today I am on several meds to control my anxiety/depression and for the most part they work. Thank you for sharing your story. ((hugs))
.-= Andrea H´s last blog ..Ronzoni Smart Taste Pasta | Review =-.
Good for you — in sharing this story and your desire to help others. {hugs}
.-= Rachel — Following In My Shoes´s last blog ..Houston’s Museum of Fine Arts — FREE SUNDAY! =-.
This will a interesting series! Most people suffer from these things and many w/o even knowing & end up in a rut of bad thinking/things over & over. I know I have dealt w/depression on & off and constantly feeling I needed to ‘please” people to ‘like’ me.
I look forward to reading the rest. thanks Brandy you always come up with great topics to read & learn from!
.-= Faythe@GrammyMousetails´s last blog ..Brandy’s Battle, help for a friend in need =-.
Twitter: creativelyb
(1745 comments) says:
I can relate to this. Since 08 I’ve had real bad anxiety and such. It’s been better over the last two years but I still have my moments.
.-= brandy´s last blog ..Little Tykes Adjust & Jam Basketball Set =-.
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