I figured a great way to allow you all to get to know me better is to have a weekly confessions post, not sure if it will be on the same day but I plan to do it weekly! This week I want to discuss the fact that I totally suck at discipline. Now mind you I watch Supernanny, I read what other parents are doing and I try to read books but overall when it comes to my two boys I totally am at a loss on what is the best method of discipline and most days I am so exhausted that I am guilty of lack of discipline to avoid a fight.
My son AJ has been known to be a handful ever since the day he was born, I only nursed him for 8 weeks because he was a baby who constantly wanted to nurse and I simply didn’t have the energy to keep up with nursing a baby all day long while still attempting to bring in an income. I don’t like that he’s the only child I nursed for such a short period of time, but I like to think he has done well with learning and being a bright little boy.
My dilemma is having two boys so close in age with such high energy and the reason for my lack of discipline is simply because I feel I was spoiled having a well behaved first born child. My Ki was a very easy baby and maybe it’s due to the fact that I was a single mom for the first three years of her life and she was an only child for four years. Reality is Ki got 100% of mine and everyone else that visited attention, the boys have always had to share the spotlight!
I have always been good at giving time outs, I don’t spank because I have always believed spanking my child is simply teaching them it’s okay to hit and reality is I don’t feel it’s ever okay to hit another person. You may disagree with my theory, but it’s how I personally feel. I have used corners and most recently a time out chair. None of which I have been consistent with even with my oldest. I feel that at 7 years of age my daughter has pretty much outgrown the time out chair or corner and now must have her special privileges taken away instead. The boys, however, are 1 and 3 which means time outs are their ultimate consequence for not listening to Mama or behaving.
The question is what is worthy of a time out? What is worthy of ignoring? I had attended counseling appointments to work with parenting skills on AJ a while back when I was married and one of the things she pointed out was that we need to pick our battles and encourage all day long. AJ is a boy who needs constant praise for his actions and constantly needs stimulation or else he gets bored and starts acting out in aggressive behavior towards not only his siblings but towards me.
After over 3 years of trying to avoid conflict and a huge blow out fight in my home as well as having little help with discipline I simply grew to ignore and talk talk talk, give warnings but no consequences and so this week I have started working on not only being consistent but introducing the time out corner to my boys. I am giving a warning and if the child feels the need to ignore the warning they get a time out. AJ gets it for 3 minutes and Baby K for 1 minute. So far Baby K understands the time out after only 2 of them but AJ has had many and still proceeds to kick, hit and scream as well as try to escape the corner.
This is going to take some hard work and dedication but I plan to seek assistance and support from not only my online friends but in real life friends too!
Question for thought: How do you do with discipline? What is your method of choice and how has it worked for your child(ren)?