All my life I have struggled with sticking up for myself, I like to be happy, smile and avoid conflict as often as possible. If a person in my life is full of jealousy, rage or similar traits I don’t do well with it for two reasons 1) It upsets me very deeply and 2) I don’t do anything about it except leave the situation. One thing I have been working on lately is being more assertive. When it comes to business and online marketing I am highly assertive and can be completely 100% confident but if it comes to a personal situation I back away and shut my mouth for fear of causing hurt feelings or anger.
Always a sensitive person I can’t be around people who like to fight, yell or treat others disrespectful it’s nothing I want in my life or my kids life and it actually gets me so upset that I cry. I could be driving down the road and see two strangers fist fighting on the side of the road and I would have tears in my eyes over it. I don’t know why I am like this, I have no clue but conflict or negative confrontations just do not sit well with me.
What I am learning is that the reason I get myself into situations of having friends who shouldn’t be my friends or in the past getting into not so great relationships is because I don’t stick up for what I want, what I need and what I expect from a friend or a significant other. Since my family situation is different now I am ready to start focusing on being more assertive and telling people that how they speak to me or treat me is unacceptable and making sure that they are not a part of my life. Now this does mean that I will have to lose some cell phone numbers and stop talking to some people I have known for many years, but reality is friendship is about helping each other and supporting each other not bringing the friend down so that you can make yourself feel good.
There are people in this world who thrive on bringing others down, it’s as if their life isn’t happy unless they have made someone else’s life miserable. Those are the kind of people who can not be in my life for the reason that they will start to destroy the happy, positive attitude I work so hard to keep. I may not be 100% assertive when it comes to other people but reality is there are nice ways to be assertive. I have always thought being assertive and sticking up for your personal feelings was being mean and rude to another person, but no longer do I feel that way. I now realize that in order to truly be 100% happy in life you need to speak up in a respectful way and tell others to stop treating you badly because if they continue then you will no longer be in their life in any way, shape or form.
Questions for Thought: Have you ever had trouble with confrontation? Were there times when you didn’t say something but wish you had? Like one of those moments you relive in your mind “I should have said …”.