In case you couldn’t tell my mind and emotions have been like a roller coaster ride lately! I went from not wanting to be with my husband because reality is we have grown apart … well I guess I have grown apart, he still feels the same. We are best friends, but I still question what my heart knows is best to do for us … I keep going up and down … from wanting to be a stay at home mom to wanting to work outside of the home and build my resume back up again to wanting to work part time to not wanting to work at all other than this blog and my virtual assistant business.
I seriously feel so out of it, I could blame the cold Winter NH weather, the shorter days, the longer nights, the lack of sleep, the busy days with my children, I could blame a lot of things. In reality all I can blame is me, I am not myself lately and so I started taking St John’s Wort about a week ago to try to promote positive thinking again. My marriage is good, as far as we get along but every time one little thing stresses me out or gets piled on my to-do list I have been taking it out on my husband. Lately I can’t find ambition to play with my children, my daughter and I are growing further apart it seems and I just don’t get why I can’t find my happiness again. Now don’t give up on me and my happiness because I know deep down in my heart I have been here before and this too shall pass but for now I sit around wondering what in the world my family is going to do if I can’t find a way to get passed this up and down emotional roller coaster ride I am taking myself and my family on.
I am reading all over that a lot of others are feeling this way and so I just hope it’s the weather or “that time of year”, luckily I have a supportive husband who loves me dearly and three wonderful children who can try their best to tickle me like crazy until I crack a HUGE smile and laugh so hard I start crying!
Make it a Happy Day!