Is It Right To Read Your Child’s Diary?

No matter what age your child is, eventually they will have or already have a journal also known as a diary. This personal pad of paper or decorated journal book is a place where your child will write down personal feelings, thoughts and actions done during their short lifetime. A diary by definition is “a record of events, transactions, or observations kept daily or at frequent intervals : journal; especially : a daily record of personal activities, reflections, or feelings” as taken from Merriam-Webster.

Basically a diary is one’s personal beliefs or reflections that they probably will never wish to share with anyone, ever. So why on Earth would so many parents be snooping around their child’s bedroom and actually be reading their child’s personal thoughts?

Maybe I am just a really laid back mother, maybe I believe in what is called “privacy” again by definition from Merriam-Webster privacy  means “the quality or state of being apart from company or observation : seclusion b : freedom from unauthorized intrusion”.  Basically your child may be a minor, they may even be an adult but truth be told even little one’s have the right to some level of privacy. I couldn’t imagine going into my children’s bedroom and accidentally stumbling upon their diary or purposely looking for it and then actually reading it!  I just feel that a child must be left some privacy and taught what privacy is. I also feel a child should have room to grow and through self reflection is how one is able to make mistakes, learn from them and move forward in a positive way. If a child’s trust is broken, in this particular situation, by reading their personal diary, then how are they to trust YOU again? How is this child going to trust that they can truly write all their personal reflections down if they are constantly worried that their parents are going to read it? They can’t and they won’t. What can become of a breach in privacy could potentially cause huge damage to your child.

Take this from a daughter who had this happen to her. When I was about sixteen years old or so my mother stumbled upon my diary. To this day I honestly believe she wasn’t meaning to find it, I guess from what I can remember (which pardon me if the tale is not 100% accurate on how she found it as my memory often fails me) is that the dog had gotten on my bed and so my mother was going to change my sheets for me. Well low and behold my diary, a personal recollection of inconceivable actions and situations was found by none other than my mother!

Oh yeah she read it too! I didn’t have much privacy growing up, I really was never taught about trust, privacy or anything like that from what I can recall. I remember not being allowed to have a shut door on my bedroom, not being allowed to have a lock on my bedroom, not being allowed to have “guy friends” and the list can go on and on. Back to the topic at hand, my personal diary and personal space had been invaded and let me tell you the things written in that book were in great detail and nothing a mother should EVER have to read about her child. My mother was devastated and I almost think she even shared it with her long time boyfriend at the time and quite possibly other family members.

Can you imagine my anger, hurt and the tears that flowed from that day???!! I was completely ruined, I was now deemed a bad person and no longer would my mother look at me the same again. I admit she cried when she read it, I am her first born and as a mother now, I can see our first born’s seem to be who we have the most hope and expectations for. There were tear stains all over it and I cried and yelled back then too. At the time I was not only angry that my privacy had been invaded but hurt that my own mother had to read inside the head of a very lost little girl. I doubt if my mother even understands to this day why I did the things I did, heck I don’t even know for sure why I acted in such self destructing ways back then.  I do know that I am a different person now, but I wonder had she not ever read that diary would I have continued on in that path? If she hadn’t read my diary and invaded my personal space would I be here writing to you today?

So this is a tough topic, because I personally don’t feel you should read another person’s private diary, even if it is your child’s but at the same time, it was almost a breath of relief when my mother read mine. What is your opinion, or thoughts? I would love to hear them!