It’s been a while since I’ve provided an update about my AJ who turned three in August and has been my most challenging child out of my three. When AJ was born I became pregnant for the second time, it was very hard on me emotionally. I was so worried about so many things off and on that it almost consumed me and created a sadness inside of me that hadn’t been around in many years. Finally little AJ was born and looking back I wondered if I had postpartum depression.
AJ had many troubles growing up. It started as a baby who was never satisfied when breastfeeding him, although he was gaining weight and growing at a healthy rate he always seemed hungry, agitated and grumpy. AJ was a baby who rarely smiled but always screamed. He didn’t suffer from colic and there were no known medical reasons for his behavior since three weeks of age. AJ grew up to be a handful for my husband and me. After trying everything we could think of, we finally turned to the pediatrician because AJ was having troubles sleeping.
AJ had the following symptoms:
- Easily angered and very aggressive over silly reasons.
- Not able to settle down for bed, no matter our routine set in place.
- Constantly moving faster than you could imagine (hyperactive).
- Very angry and super aggressive with his sister, my husband and me.
What finally made us get some advice was when my daughter said “I don’t love AJ Mommy, he is so mean to me and I can’t have any fun with him”. As soon as we realized that AJ’s behavior was not only affecting us as the parents, but affecting his relationship with his sister we decided to set an appointment with our pediatrician. I have written about our situations from seeing the pediatrician and being blamed for his behavior as if we were bad parents to having an EEG taken. All medical reasoning didn’t make heads or tails of AJ’s behavior and after seeing a neurologist they recommended he certainly is unlike our two other children and has ADHD. They requested an MRI to be done and a second evaluation from a psychiatrist (two appointments we have yet to take him to).
As each day passes we learn more about our dear son who turned three in August;
- He is smart but doesn’t talk a lot.
- He is trying and impatient.
- He loves his family and has learned compassion such as hugging, kissing and saying sorry when he hurts someone.
- He has learned to express what it is he wants but get upset when he doesn’t get his way.
- He has developed a sleeping pattern that works for him, but still he seems to suffer from not getting into deep sleep.
Overall AJ’s behavior has changed dramatically and it’s only due to our love as a family and encouragement rather than going right for medication. We have been recommended by two specialists to place him on meds and as parents who feel medication is not the answer we continue to work hard each day. AJ is our biggest challenge yet we have learned so much from him. AJ is capable of loving, AJ is capable of being intelligent, AJ is capable of doing almost everything a normal 3 year old can do and more. AJ simply does things differently and learns differently than most other children his age.
AJ was and still is our biggest challenge but as parents we don’t have an easy job and there is no guidebook on how to be a good parent, all we can do is be strong, keeping loving and teaching AJ to be morally correct and express his feelings in a healthy, non-aggressive way.
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For those who have ADHD child(ren) or were keeping up with my AJ this is a must read: http://bit.ly/CDn2S
Your AJ sounds so much like my Jaycen when he was a baby and Toddler. Have you had him tested for Sensory Integration Disorder. My son has Asperger’s Syndrome (not diagnosed until he was 8). But he also has SID and a LOT of his behavior issues were due to this, including poor sleeping, screaming all the time and aggression.
.-= kristen´s last blog ..Get Some Free Samples While They Last =-.
Oh, they will probably refer you to an Occupational Therapist for an eval. Be prepared to sit on a waiting list. But it is sooooo worth it as they are wonderful!
Here is a guidebook to help you, The ADD Answer from Dr. Frank Lawlis who is an expert in this field. http://tinyurl.com/yduftqu
He offers exact practical things you can do as a parent of an ADD/ADHD child, like what types of foods to stay away from and also what type of foods to eat which will help him focus! Also, music therapy using drums helps the brain umm…”sync” itself. I forget the word he used. It’s quite fascinating. And he also covers ways to improve sleep for your child. I think you will find this book very useful.
He realizes that there are a lot of misdiagnosed ADD/ADHD children/people out there also, and realizes that, sometimes, medication is necessary in addition to everything else he covers. But, he emphasizes what you can do without medication. He really covers it all.
See? You asked for a parent’s guidebook and ta-daa! Here it is.
Keep up the great work!
.-= Lisa (lablady)´s last blog ..Making The Shift =-.
Every child is different, they all have different challenges and strengths. My 2 year old sounds a little like your AJ.
.-= Nancy M.´s last blog ..Magical Disney Sunday =-.
Hang in there. All children are different and challenging at time.
It sounds like you are checking out all your options before going right for the meds. Some kids need to take medication and you can tell a difference in thier behavior and other kids just need more time and attention. Stay strong!!
.-= Shawn´s last blog ..I Got the Wiifit Plus Today =-.
First, congrats on being a wonderful mother and doing what is right for your son and not reaching right for medication. I am all for doing the non-medical route if possible but will give it if it is necessary and will make my child better. It’s worth evaluating further.
I look forward to hearing more about your journey and helping your son and family be the best they can be.
.-= Kasey @ All Things Mamma´s last blog ..Hot Dog Roast With New Friends =-.
I love this post, Brandy. Scott, ‘the hubs’, struggled with ADHS growing up. His Mom also did not do the medication route. We are a family that tries to do this therapeutically and naturally first. He is now a perfectly healthy and normal 30 year old man. Sometimes he still deals with some brain-fog, but not too much.
I love your thinking about this and the route you are taking. I am excited and look forward to reading more about his progress as time goes on.
One more thing to think about too, is that many children with ADHD are actually allergic to wheat. Some even have full blown Celiac Disease. This allergy to wheat has been linked to ADHD.
When we found this out we had Scott tested. He tested negative for Celiac Disease, but positive for an allergy to wheat. When he eats a lot of grains and such, he gets a lot of brain-fog.
Many studies are showing that when children with ADHD get on a gluten free diet, their symptoms lesson by a great deal. So, maybe you could have him tested for this?
Here is the google search with pages and pages about the link between ADHS and wheat/gluten/CD:
http://www.google.com/search?client=opera&rls=en&q=Celiac+Disease+%2BADHD&sourceid=opera&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8
In that first sentence I meant ADHD, but I said ADHS. Oops!
Ahhh. Another typo. I must be sleepy!
In that last sentence I meant ADHD too, but said ADHS again. LOL!
Twitter: householdsix
(30 comments) says:
Your AJ sounds a lot like my 8yo. While my son doesn’t have ADHD, he does have ODD. The syndromes can be very similar. It’s not an easy road, but we’ve also chosen not to medicate so far. We’ve kept an open mind in case our son needs it after we’ve exhausted all other options. We’ve been in therapy since my son was 3 1/2. It can get tedious and frustrating, but hang in there. It really does get better as they get older.
Twitter: MamaDweeb
(3 comments) says:
I applaud you for trying to handle this without medications! My friend has an 11 month old baby that sounds like a milder version of your son. He cries and screams when he isn’t being held and walked around. He can’t be away from his mom for very long without SCREAMING and it won’t stop. She has seen specialists to no avail. He sleeps at night all right….but during the day he wear her OUT.
I am so glad you have made it to 3 years old and found so many positive things to love about him…this is very encouragine for my friend to read
So glad that you are all growing together. He sounds like an amazing little boy!
.-= Dina @ 4 Lettre Words´s last blog ..Blogiversary Giveaway! =-.
Twitter: StacieinAtlanta
(2 comments) says:
Wow, that is rough – what you guys have all been growing through. It has got to be so hard.
Thanks for sharing and keep us updated.
.-= Stacie Haight Connerty´s last blog ..A Special Package Just for Mom- Ends 10/24 =-.