I was having a discussion with my ex about me going back to work and that I would be missing our daughters soccer practices but not any of her games. I also was talking about how I am going to miss my boys while at work and I am so uncertain of placing them in daycare or having a sitter at home with them while I work. My ex wondered why I was talking about daycare or a babysitter if my hubs is home. I explained that my hubs doesn’t want to be a stay at home Dad, and my ex said he would love to be a stay at home Dad.
After this discussion I approached my husband, because now I was curious .. why does he not want to be a stay at home Dad? I was very curious if it’s something he just prefers not to do as it’s not who he is, or if there was more reasoning behind the decision for both of us to work. The answer wasn’t what I expected, “Well I am not sure I am comfortable with you working and me just staying at home watching the kids. I don’t mind being with the boys but it just doesn’t seem right for you to be the one financially supporting our family”.
I guess it’s not the fact that he doesn’t want to stay home with our boys, it seems to be more that he has had the “man supports the woman” common, everday thought instilled into his brain. Nothing wrong with that, I would have gladly continued staying home and running my virtual assistant business should he have not decided to just up and leave his job that causes so much stress. The issue is that hubs can’t really find his “calling” other than computer work and well that’s a long time coming before we can open an official business, so it won’t pay the bills or ensure our home stays ours.
I often wonder if I am selfish at times because the biggest reason I started looking for outside of the house work is because he quit his job and it just made me realize how much I missed working with customers face to face and refuse to lose the home I bought. I figured I would go out and get a part time job and maybe hubs would get a part time job too, what happened was; I ended up with a full time job offer (more than 20 hours a week) and he lost his chance at a second shift position.
I was put into a position that it was either watch this house I worked my butt off to buy four years ago as a single, hard working administrative assistant, mom of one OR get off my butt now and put that can do, go getter attitude to work and get out there to find a job. I decided to “find a job” because even though this is not my perfect house nor is it big enough for our growing family … IT IS OUR HOUSE … this is our home, it is where our children can run, smile, laugh and be a family. No matter how much I don’t like my house, I love what the walls hold inside of it and if that means my hubs has to be a stay at home Dad for a while working towards his computer business or take on a part time job and we have to find daycare .. then so be it.
The past doesn’t matter, the future is uknown and today is a happy day!