HELP! Husband Lost His Job
August 31st, 2009 · 14 Comments
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My husband is no longer working, many of my Twitter friends may have seen me tweeting about his job loss and that I am available full time for virtual assistant projects. He made a silly decision at 4am that he no longer working would be a great way for our family to get back on track, allow me to have more help with the children and he mentioned a few other things but I will be honest I was a bit upset to really listen.
The reason I was upset:
- You don’t make a HUGE financial decision without first thinking about your families needs.
- You don’t wake up and decide to leave a job you hate at 4am ONE WEEK before our mortgage is due.
After I had my moment of being upset, which involved smiling because I swear I am truly unable to get super upset with anyone, I realized that there was nothing I could do to make this decision go in the reverse direction. He no longer is employed and now we have to think positive. My husband actually was all on board with the positive thinking and mentioned how he has been selling a lot of computers lately, and he has a company that wants to hire him to do computer work from home. My husband also reminded me that I was looking to get out of the house more to work part time in an office, because I do miss the office environment. SO maybe we can both work part time jobs.
This is a good lesson for my blog readers (and myself) on how to create a positive from a truly negative situation because by all means this is TRULY a negative situation since it involves completely screwing our main financial support system. To give you an idea of how bad this situation is:
- We will be lucky to have our mortgage payment on Thursday.
- We will have to use most of our savings to pay for food and diapers (a lot of diapers).
- We will be lucky to pay the Internet bill which is my main source of additional income into the household.
Of course this is a bad situation but that’s the “obvious” and I am not one to think about the “obvious”, I am more the think outside of the box person, and of course I love to think “happy thoughts”. Let’s just say we have spent the past few days thinking of our options to move forward in this situation and do you know what made me think the MOST positive out of this situation? Something my husband said to me;
“We have been through many obstacles in our four years of being together and most involved financial worries. No matter what obstacle has come into our path we have moved forward, found a way and made it on top TOGETHER. I feel this is simply another obstacle, does it suck? YES, but we can make it, we can do it and I believe we WILL do this together.”
That one paragraph fresh out of my husband’s mouth is what made my mind go from near depressed, thinking nothing was going to solve this to thinking that WE CAN DO THIS! With our “we can” attitudes we simply have spent the past couple of days brainstorming, applying to jobs, marketing for my business and selling some computers. Have we made enough for our bills? Not yet, but I will tell you we have been down to the NAIL before. Meaning we had to come up with near $600 the day the mortgage was due in the past and WE DID IT.
So remember when times get tough and it seems like you are going to lose everything you worked so hard for, even if it was a self inflicted situation (such as my husband’s BRILLIANT 4am thinking) … YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MIND TO!
NOTE: There are more reasons than my husband just “not wanting to work” behind this story which I just can’t publicly get into. I was uncertain of sharing this personal story on my blog but felt I had to share the honest version of what happened in my life as a way to show you that no matter what happens YOU CAN think positive and YOU CAN make it!
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by brandyellen: New Blog Post: HELP! Husband Lost His Job http://bit.ly/118BI8…
Brandy you totally hit the nail on the head for me! We’ve not had the best of things happen this month either with Hubs car accident but I’m determined to make the best of it. From getting him back to health to making sure we are financially OK, it’s going to happen!
Nikki aka The Guilty Parent´s last blog ..Build-A-Bear Offers Unforgettable Family Fun for Less This Month
Twitter: cltalbert
(78 comments) says:
I’ve been in your same situation. Nearly two years ago my husband quit a job that he hated. As a result we lost everything. We lost our family vehicle, our house, and the whole life that I was creating for my family in a quiet little midwestern town. We are now living in his grandmother’s small three bedroom house in a poor, high crime neighborhood out in California. I had to make huge sacrifices in order to save my marriage.
Don’t give up on your business goals and encourage him to find another job. My husband was out of work for nearly a year before he found employment but I made sure that I did all I could to help him find a job.
I wish you the best of luck and if you need a shoulder to lean on from someone who has gone through the same thing do not hesitate to contact me.
Cascia @ Healthy Moms´s last blog ..How Did You Quit Smoking?
Twitter: erinjeany
(115 comments) says:
wow. I don’t even know what to say sweetie. With Dave getting laid off it has been tough for us too. I really wish I could help in some way or at least knew something to say! <3
You have a truly inspiring attitude about this Brandy! I’m sure many good things are out there for both you.
Malia´s last blog ..School Memories
Best of luck to you and your family as you sort through this.
Liz´s last blog ..Winners
I know we have discussed this in great lengths and I hope you know that I’m here to lean on if need be. I know there are a lot of money opportunities out there, we just seem to have not such great luck finding them. Everything is virtual nowadays so there has to be more virtual work out there! Here’s to wishing you better luck finding it and FAST.
MommaDJane´s last blog ..Hand Surgery Update
Twitter: marydaviswritesgmail.com
(9 comments) says:
Wow, Brandy, what a tough situation to be in. But I know you’re taking the absolute right steps, with both positive attitude and action. You’ll come out on top. I’ve been there too, and I truly feel I’m in a better place now, despite money being tight. Keep us posted!
Mary@Everyday Baby Steps´s last blog ..My Newest Addiction – Project Runway!
I think it’s so wonderful you quickly decided to think positively about an unexpected situation! With that kind of attitude, I know you’ll be okay!
Nancy M.´s last blog ..Beach Trip Days 2 and 3
I can totally relate with what you are going through. My husband had a bad wreck last year when he did his income was our only income. I had to find a job and quick!!! He was out of work for close to 8 months. The only job I could find wasn’t a full time job so we ended up moving in with family!!! UGH!! it was rough to say the least. He just went back to work when I got laid off due to lack of work. 3 months ago I decided to go back to school to follow my long time dream of becoming a lawyer. It’s hard especially with having mommy duties too but, I know in 7 years once I do get through law school it will be so worth it! I hope things get better for you and your family!
mary beth´s last blog ..Lucky Girl Design Giveaway!
Good for you for being so positive! I wish you guys the best of luck. I give him credit for having the guts to do what he wanted.
Laura´s last blog ..Link it Up
Let me know what I can do to help. My friends call me the job whisperer. I can find stuff anywhere!! Seriously.
I need some stuff done so contact me at stacieconnerty (at) gmail (dot) com and let’s talk.
I can’t do much personally but I am happy to pimp you out for good work.
on the pimp part!!
Stacie Connerty´s last blog ..Free Safety Kit for Your Child
This is my first time here so I hope I’m not overstepping my bounds by being apparently the only one who sees this situation as I do.
While I do admire your positive outlook, if my husband suddenly quit his job without consulting me, potentially throwing us into financial ruin, I would be pissed! I don’t think it’s acceptable for one partner to make that type of decision without the agreement of the other. His togetherness attitude appears to have been noticeably absent until it came time to convince you to get on board with his decision.
Having said all that, it is, of course, your marriage and my opinion is just that…mine. If my husband pulled a stunt like this, he would likely be living elsewhere.
Cyndi´s last blog ..Fallancholy
Twitter: mvchrissy
(21 comments) says:
It’s not that I am not on your side with the positive thinking, I totally am!
Here is the thing though, I can’t imagine with the economy the way it is that someone, anyone would take a drastic step to just up and leave a job for any reason, I know you say there are other factors besides him hating it. IMO unless someones life is endangered leaving a job in this economy is not the greatest of decisions.
Here is a good example. A good friend had to miss his sons surgery because his boss said no, you can’t have it off. This is most recent his son has had multiple surgeries, very sick boy. Seriously has a boss who care’s nothing about his personal life what so ever, and he does not want to be there BUT knows if he leaves he now takes the stress he deals with and places in his entire families lap ten fold. He just continues to apply elsewhere until he can leave without the added stress.
My situation that I rarely share is making it hard to wrap my thoughts around your post. I don’t air it through the internet, for it’s there forever and we will not be in this situation forever so why share it ya know. All I can tell you is my husband would be glad to replace your husbands position at this point.
Yes, positive thinking will help get you through these tough times, that is an absolute truth. I admire your strength for sharing this story, as it can conjure up mixed feelings in some of us that read it!
In closing on this comment, you are hitting on very good points on how to deal with adversity and struggle. SO regardless on any of our opinions this is still a good post
Chrissy´s last blog ..And I was there!!
Twitter: ImAHotMom
(33 comments) says:
I truly admire the way you approached this situation. It is totally normal to be upset, but you didn’t let yourself be consumed by it, instead, you shifted your focus on looking for solutions and what needs to be done. And for that I’m sure you and your hubby will get through it.
Fitness Family´s last blog ..My Hot Mom Of The Month: Melissa Sherman!