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brandyellen

NH Mama loving life. Co-Author (w/ my daughter) of Positive Girl - The Power of Your Thoughts. Fueled by coffee, great convos & optimistic thoughts! Brandy Ellen, Virtual Assistant is a work from home entrepreneur. Question about this post or something found within it? Read my Disclosure Policy as well as Terms of Use.

14 thoughts on “Becoming A Parent”

  1. i think that many of those young moms think of their child slung on their hip as and accessory, like a cute handbag, nothing more. they just carry it around all day, doing what they have always done. drives me crazy! very good post!

    momma d’s last blog post..Super Shoprite Savings 5/31

  2. I agree with you that being a parent carries with it a certain level of responsibility and part of that is setting a good example for your children.
    That said, having a little fun isn’t a bad thing either. But then again, maybe my fun is more tame than the fun you used to have in your pre-kid days. 😉
    Children need to see that grown-ups can let lose and have safe harmless fun. It’s just another area where we need to be setting an example. A child who never sees his parents drinking alcohol won’t know how to pace himself, etc.
    So I’d say be aware of your actions, don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your child to be doing at your age, but also, have fun too.

    Jessica (@It’s my life…)’s last blog post..Turns out we need a whole new kind of scale

    1. I sent you an email. I do agree that children do need to see parents having fun. I mean in the real world we make mistakes, we drink, we may smoke a cigarette, etc. By all means I want my children to see the real side of people. I do not pretend to be some fake person and am not perfect. I just am not one to raise my children in a party house – and many of the young ones I see around who are parents – raise their children in party houses. And I mean EXTREME. Again this is my personal observations and opinions of course 😉

  3. I resemble that thought! Really… I used to be that person, but I knew I was raised better and my kids deserved better, so I did a complete 180 and here we are. I’m not perfect but no one is.

    but I’m definitely more boring than I used to be….

    😉

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  4. I’d love to weigh in on this one. You are right on Brandy. We RARELY and I mean RARELY drank around our children. I grew up as a child thinking that every family had happy hour. When I went to college as an 18 year old, legal to drink at the time, I thought it was what you did. I was surprised to find that some people actually didn’t drink.

    Kids don’t learn to pace themselves by watching their parents. I don’t even know what that means. I certainly didn’t drink as an 18 year old thinking that if my parents stopped after 2 drinks I had better too. When drinking and partying are the exceptions to the rule, kids learn that it’s not a part of every day life. But the reality is that kids decide their own path based on the morals that you instill in them and the influences of their peers. When my kids are gone they will decide what they do with their free time. My hope is that they make good decisions. Good for you for taking responsible actions for your kids.

    Linda@Short Pump Preppy’s last blog post..Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball for Wii

  5. What a great post Brandy! I grew up seeing the drinking, parting, and the ‘trashy’ way of life. I know how painful some of my childhood memories are and wouldn’t dream of letting my son experience even the slightest bit of similar behavior. I want my son to grow up in a healthy environment, free of addictions and vices. Yes, I was a teenager and then part of the 21+ crowd that did stuff, got drunk, and messed up. But WAS is the key word there. Of course I will still have a glass of wine here and then. But I promised myself to be not only the best mother I can be, but to really work to create a fun environment at home for my children. Eat dinner together, play games together, do crafts together. I would have gladly traded most activities growing up for a family dinner and monopoly game.

    <3 ~erin

    erin’s last blog post..Elijah TV: Brought to you by Flip Video & YouTube

  6. As a child raised by a couple of hippies, I totally agree. I remember drugs in the house, parties at all hours, me at age 4 being wherever I wanted as long as I wasn’t in the middle of the adults. My brother came along a few years later and not long after, they began to clean themselves up. By the time I left middle school they were excellent parents. But it took a lot of work on their part, and they had two sets of parents who gave them support. In the early days, my grandmother watched us kids all day long just to give us some stability and sane people around us.

    Now, raising two kids myself, I wonder how my mom ever did it. I totally admire how she cleaned herself up and got herself together. Was I scarred and changed because of what I saw? Absolutely. I became the adult in the house at a very young age, and never quite learned the same relaxed social skills other kids did. Even today, 37 years later, I’m a lot more serious than I really need to be. But I did learn a few things from my parents–people make mistakes. We do stupid stuff. And its never too late to turn around and make it right. You may not be able to fix it, but choosing to turn around makes a huge difference.

    Not everyone is so lucky. My cousin’s parents never turned around and he grew up thinking drugs and drinking were okay. His life has never been a healthy one. He’s almost thirty and has never held a job more than a few weeks, can’t finish college despite being one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, and generally wastes his life away, always looking for someone else to take care of whatever problem he has. When I see teens doing that, dragging their kids along, I wonder…will their kids grow up like me, or like my cousin?

  7. Being a mom I think takes a different kind of fun. You have to act drunk to make your babies laugh but not be drunk 🙂 You have to teach them how to talk to people who are strangers and encourage them to invite these strangers over and after all your effort these people are not even coming to see you 🙂 Instead of a house full of card games and fun board games for a party your house is full of toys and other things that make noice and move and do all sorts of stuff. Being a parent will definately be a 360 degree change in lifestyle 🙂

    Heidi L’s last blog post..5 Tips to Safeguard Your Domain

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